arrghh
dah type panjang2 alih2 dunno wat happen, rasanya mcm dah save, pun tak kluar..

watevala. i was blabbing about my not so relaxing holiday in langkawi. let me just summarised everyhting - the island is overrated, indah kabar dari rupa. i'll continue when i feel like it later. but then did some shopping jugakla. papa belanja a new pair of adidas shoes, bukan on sale pun, bukan murah sgt ke apa, but i saw it and like it, and i went "pa, the last pair of shoes i bought were cho's shoes" and that does the trick. but it's true, i actually forgot how wearing sneakers feels like, and look like a complete idiot in front of the sales person..i also got myself a new colorful handbag. hehe. a bagful of hersheys and a blaring red hp cover which i think is soooo cool. bros commented that i'm tua tak sedar diri, with the adidas sneakers and a bright red hp. eleh, this was my trademark la.. at least a yr ago, with bright this bright that, colourful this, matching that. oh God, i feel old now.

speaking of which, colleagues ask to see my photos in aussie. i'm contemplating. i was 10-15 kg lighter then. i had this chic short haircut. i was in my midi skirt or 3 quarters most of the times. my shirts/tshirts are always pink, red, yellow or something brighter. i wore bright colored hats or bandenna. i use bright bags to uni. i made faces in pictures. i was a different person. i may not be as happy now, but those looking at the pics may not agree with it.

so many random thoughts at the moment

one of which
it struck me the other day, during shower, which was my most profound time of the day,
wat really happened last yr (prior to the existence of this blog)? how can he misunderstood my email and jump to that conclusion? i didnt say 'NO'. though the email didnt spell "WAIT" outright, i guess any person of his background would have caught my drift. i didnt say "NO". wat made him think that and act frustrated and bother telling me that it's surely hard to convey the msg to his mom but he will. and last but not least. why did he wish me 'hope u'll be happy with him' when i didnt say anything about being with someone else. i know this is really story of the past, afterall i am happy n content with dearest now, but i cant help thinking. could it be an ugly trick of his to turn things around and made it look like i was the one who spoilt the deal. did he just put words in my mouth and let me sing the song he wanna hear? (hehe, since when pulak i start writing like this)
so all this while.. dia tak nak pun, but dunno wat to say, how to say, to me n the mom, so created this pushy email and wait for the std answer..which i did provide. was he even affected by it?
God, it makes me shudder. i feel so low thinking abt it.
to even go near to the idea that this anak dato', US grad, wealthy, ok looking, metrosexual is wooing me.
i felt stupid
and ugly

hehe.. random thoughts u see..