and here's the reason why
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Back in front of the idiot
Hi. Am now back at work, staring at this pc, trying to and pretending to look like doing work.
Leaving Amir behind is soooo susah. But at least i'm leaving him with mama, in the comfort of her hse, with Zetty to hold him constantly. But I miss him no doubt. Whenever ppl ask me about him, i'll show them his pic on my mobile. Then i'll spend another hour going thru his picssss on my mobile repeatedly, untill someone drop by my desk and ask about him again :)
The toughest part about coming back to work must be all the ppl asking if i breastfeed or not. I still dont know how to answer that actually although the answer is "No and i'm not proud of it". Because with 'no', comes 'why', with 'i tried', comes 'then wat happened?' with 'yes' (which i havent use), surely comes 'bagusla..bestkan..alhamdulillah..' all those which make me feel guilty for not joining the club and lying abt it in the first place. Wateva it is i'm glad i'm out of my blues to be in this frame of mind and not be depressed about it.
Well, anyway, Amir is growing up fine. In fact he's quite big comparative to other babies his age. And he hasnt been sickly ever since he was born, so i guess the milk he's taking pun not that bad at all.. hope it stays this waylah. The next step is to watch over his progress, in case he gets too big. Cos it's in his gene anyway..
We've also moved hse recently. The house is great and i instantly felt at home the moment we move in. It better be great since it has eaten up all my savings, my employees share scheme proceed, my bonus and ex gratia pay, my increment, my credit card credit balance...
We got it painted exactly how i want it.. well though the green in one of the rooms turned to be 'a bit' flourescent-ish. I got my kitchen, the design n equipment as i wished. So no more excuse, mmg kena masak from now on. It's weird u know, having and staying in ur own house.. me and Jazmi, rasa mcm falling in love all over again.. well.. very hunky dory untill Amir starts wailing for milk, amplified by the half empty house.
Leaving Amir behind is soooo susah. But at least i'm leaving him with mama, in the comfort of her hse, with Zetty to hold him constantly. But I miss him no doubt. Whenever ppl ask me about him, i'll show them his pic on my mobile. Then i'll spend another hour going thru his picssss on my mobile repeatedly, untill someone drop by my desk and ask about him again :)
The toughest part about coming back to work must be all the ppl asking if i breastfeed or not. I still dont know how to answer that actually although the answer is "No and i'm not proud of it". Because with 'no', comes 'why', with 'i tried', comes 'then wat happened?' with 'yes' (which i havent use), surely comes 'bagusla..bestkan..alhamdulillah..' all those which make me feel guilty for not joining the club and lying abt it in the first place. Wateva it is i'm glad i'm out of my blues to be in this frame of mind and not be depressed about it.
Well, anyway, Amir is growing up fine. In fact he's quite big comparative to other babies his age. And he hasnt been sickly ever since he was born, so i guess the milk he's taking pun not that bad at all.. hope it stays this waylah. The next step is to watch over his progress, in case he gets too big. Cos it's in his gene anyway..
We've also moved hse recently. The house is great and i instantly felt at home the moment we move in. It better be great since it has eaten up all my savings, my employees share scheme proceed, my bonus and ex gratia pay, my increment, my credit card credit balance...
We got it painted exactly how i want it.. well though the green in one of the rooms turned to be 'a bit' flourescent-ish. I got my kitchen, the design n equipment as i wished. So no more excuse, mmg kena masak from now on. It's weird u know, having and staying in ur own house.. me and Jazmi, rasa mcm falling in love all over again.. well.. very hunky dory untill Amir starts wailing for milk, amplified by the half empty house.
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