dear ying,

blogging from malaysia for the first time..
arrived on the 24th..last tuesday
was really2 busy few days before balik here.. kemas la, byebye sana sini.. last visit here n there.. dont think i'll be going back to australia in the near future.. satu sebab dah habis roundlah jugak.. satu lagi sebab blacklisted.. left my bill happily with a 3 digit outstanding sum.. hehe..selamba.. thought of paying innitially, then they screwed up..overcharged me for no reason..apa lagi.. (alasan..) and since papa pun green light je.. oh well

betulla.. if i dont blog immediately, i tend to forget stuff easily..
all i could remember of my last days in brisbane was my graduation day, my final shopping day and the day doc cried..

i should go into detail about what i've indulged myself in for the past week.. i dont think such reminder is necessary.. the bill will arrive soon..and oh..how i hope i wont be home for that..
well anyway.. the byebye session.. i think shaz was affected by the departure.. which made me n hetz feel kinda heartless.. ok, so maybe hetz is coming back.. but me.. yg confirm nak balik kawin gerenti tak nak dtg balik ni.. i feel sad, no doubt.. i'll miss jogging and walking thru malls alone..without having eyes engaged on me..takdela perasan macam aku ni bagus sangat.. but that's it with malaysians.. tak kisah la org mcm mana...stare..stare..(just a week back and i'm extremely irritated by this kind of gestures from the malaysian males.. malays to be exact.. sorry if i offend anyone) i'll miss (and already missing) the laid back lifestyle.. the friendly road traffic.. but more than anything i miss malaysia so bad..so all these things kira minor..
i was surprised i didnt shed a tear pun before leaving..
was almost actually, that night when doc pun nangis.. played us a few soapy songs.. then bid farewell... hetz was in tears... doc pun sikit2..
best woo brisbane... rasa macam adult pulak kat sana ( i hope i am one dah la pun) everything do independantly.. money n spending.. since i received fix on monthly basis.. mcm dapat gaji keje.. life, memang free gila.. but sebab free sgt2la.. i think i tend to weigh wat's good n wat's bad myself.. sebab kalau nak buat apa2.. confirm parents wont be there to witness n say no.. so it's all up to me, and of course, when u're alone, jauh.. u cant help thinking about everything under the sky.. in a way, i learn a lot there.. and of course as all my other alma maters.. i wont forget sunny brissie for sure..

and now balik..
been having problem with jazmi (already)..dunnolah how..
called win last night.. almost cried.. the only reason i ever cry to him is always because of studies or about me .. now it's about a guy.. malulah pulak..so..contain jelah..
i dunnolah wat's happening with me..
too twisted to think..
called jazmi early morning today.. blurted out the words..'can we just be frens'.. bodoh bangang punya sentence and i've used it just now..i really think i should meet him tomorrow.. face to face, tell him nicely..
tonight.. try to talk to papa n mama..
hmm..
wat am i saying..
see..typing it send me twisted already..

i'll continue later
ta!

dear ying

just got back from gold coast..
feeling rather tired and worn out
woke up at 5.30 just now since papa n mama's tour will be leaving for the airport at 7
they suggested that i stay on and check out on my own..but since my stay there was actually 'illegal' (tumpang tour booking)..i'd rather not.. takut terlajak then all of us will be in trouble..yadayadayada..

last nite was spent browsing aroung pacific fair..the biggest shopping mall here, i guess.. cause it's more huge than others that i've seen before..and considering i've been to quite a sum here..i think my assumption is valid.. hey! it's bigger than the shopping mall/arcade in the brisbane city itself!
anyway, was just browsing around with mama and picking up wat's cool n wat's not... konon..
thought wanna buy some stuff but really was not into it..
swimming suit, kasut... necessary stuff.. : )
so we went to this shop.. picking up dresses in our sizes.. then try sama2..
which is so cool since i can actually wear the same size dengan mama now..
she was impressed at my achievement in reducing the gap..hehee
should have bought the dress..dahlah it's cheap.. and the flow of the dress.. like it was tailored for me.. : )
maybe later, on sunday, balik from city
the we had kebab.. and ice cream..
me..and them pampering me like a baby ..ehehe..
we stayed a while to watch people..mostly youngsters walking by.. or shall i say flaunting by..
talked a little about clubbing.. and its happening.. well.. they've really asked at the wrong info counterlah iif they wanna know about clubbing..macamla aku clubbing sgt..

last 2 days was tiring..
went crabbing.. fishing.. cruising.. then this beeworld..tea tree oit plantation.. sheep shearing n sheep racing performance.. everything..in one day...
a day before that was my graduation day..
all went well.. but somehow it felt very plain..
maybe sebab grad sini..if i were to grad in malaysian.. almost everybody doing my course would be familiar..and frenly..or at least chattable..
ni semua muka familiar.. but senyum2 jelah.. kalau nasib baik..
in the end it's the 3 of us jugak..hmm..
but doc gave us all a pleasant surprise..
first he came with a bouquet of flower for each on of us b4 the ceremony...
then after the ceremony.. he gave us a gift each..and i got a handbag..which matches my shoes perfectly!
pictures here, picstures there..
then habis..
and that's my degree..

lepas the ceremony we went to LDV for a round of pasta..which is nothing special..but sebab lapar gila..makan dgn bestnyalah jugak..
after that balik rumah kemas brg then off to gold coast again..round2 brisbane n stopped for pancake on the way..

ni still letih..
shaz call, kak shima n kak zarina ajak makan Nandos..
malas gila sebenarnya..but since dunno whenlah jumpa lagi ni.. ikut jelah..
afterall ade kereta today.. so memang definitely no excuse..
been driving the car for 3 days only n i'm sick of driving already.. and ni baru drive in brisbane.. kalau balik drive in the big great KL traffic..ok.ok..enuff

think sempat tido lagi ni..
bangun pukul 2.30..
amik shaz kat city..
malasnya nak gi... kalau gi kebab westend ke.. city ke.. takde hal lagi kot..
aahhh..
this is wat i call social responsibility..
ish..teruknya aku..
org nak balik ni lah farewell sana sini..balik msia tak gerenti jumpa lagi..
just not in the mood now i guess..

oh well
better go now..

ta!

dear ying,

papa n mama will be arriving tomorrow.. and graduation will be the day after..
finally...
ben and nabil has also graduated..
those in melbourne will be having their ceremony on the same day as us..
hope the sydney guys will be doing fine too..
alhamdulillah..finally, everybody made it.

esok kena pick up car at 10.30, then maybe shoot off to gold coast straight..
or maybe balik dulu.. call papa, check dia kat mana..
hoping to join them in harbour town.. the factory outlets paradise..eehehhe..so better meet papa there lah...for the obvious reason.
or else just jumpa at marriot when they've checked in..
malam nak makan mana aa..haaa..lega...supply dah sampai
am really2 broke now..

spent the whole day packing stuff.. ee..banyaknya barang.. banyaknya kasut..banyaknya handbag... turning into a real (typical) girl now..
packed one bag to sent thru papa n mama..
i think i dont have to add another shipment thru lizz la kot..

last nite spend the day with shaz, hetz, doc n abg jo..
doc cooked for us.. his mutabak n ayam masak merah.. and me n hetz cook nasi minyak.. trytesttengok..jadi!
later we went to freestyle.. this chic n happening ice cream place.. only to find it's closed!..
so biasala... coffee club..since La Dolce Vita is full..as always..

a day before that, we went to Izaty n Kak shima's open house.. one after another..imagine laksa penang then laksa johor... then later at night watched Ghost Ship with doc, shaz, hetz n abg jo..had to pay full fare for it..darn!!..the story.. oklah.. but not worth my $13.20..that's for sure..
after movie, doc sent us back.. and me.. to my huge empty dark house..
cant believe it i've to spend the nite alone.. i mean in this empty house..
actually..semalam pun..
not too bad since i've a tv in my room.. and the movies..SBS..good international movie..as always..gonna miss them

today non balik from melbourne ...with his fren..
mimi (my new aussie housemate) is also back..
i spot her frying some red chillies and then blending them to make some paste (guna lesung pulak tu!) ... some fierce taste bud.. for an aussie..

ben called a few times today, asking about shipment.. mcm seronok je bunyi nak balik..
ah, who wouldnt be
semalam called abg iwan.. just to inform i'm still alive n will be back next week.. he was surprise.. maybe sebab didnt expect i'd call after hmmm 7 months??..
well, he's a good contact, so y not..call..sekali sekala... he still remember my house phone in kl..by heart!
called win before that.. he's in jolly good mood.. despite the recent operation..
he'll be leaving for kkinabalu next week.. talk about perfect timing..
cant blame him.. bukan dia arrange..
some things may have change.. but win n me.. i'd say we're still cool.. maybe both has grown older..(maybe..ehehe) but i still like having 'clever' conversations with him..
basically still enjoy having him aroundlah.. and one thing i cant wait to go back to is.. his company..
win, if u're reading.. stop smiling.. and shut up!

called jazmi after that.. but he's busy entertaining his fren..
guys stuff.. boys nite out.. wateva..
was too sleepy to 'claim' him from his frens anyway..

cantwaitcantwait to go back!

maybe stories about perth later..
in fact, i'll add some pics of it when my pc dah ok..

ta!

dear ying,

papa n mama will be arriving tomorrow.. and graduation will be the day after..
finally...
ben and nabil has also graduated..
those in melbourne will be having their ceremony on the same day as us..
hope the sydney guys will be doing fine too..
alhamdulillah..finally, everybody made it.

esok kena pick up car at 10.30, then maybe shoot off to gold coast straight..
or maybe balik dulu.. call papa, check dia kat mana..
hoping to join them in harbour town.. the factory outlets paradise..eehehhe..so better meet papa there lah...for the obvious reason.
or else just jumpa at marriot when they've checked in..
malam nak makan mana aa..haaa..lega...supply dah sampai
am really2 broke now..

spent the whole day packing stuff.. ee..banyaknya barang.. banyaknya kasut..banyaknya handbag... turning into a real (typical) girl now..
packed one bag to sent thru papa n mama..
i think i dont have to add another shipment thru lizz la kot..

last nite spend the day with shaz, hetz, doc n abg jo..
doc cooked for us.. his mutabak n ayam masak merah.. and me n hetz cook nasi minyak.. trytesttengok..jadi!
later we went to freestyle.. this chic n happening ice cream place.. only to find it's closed!..
so biasala... coffee club..since La Dolce Vita is full..as always..

a day before that, we went to Izaty n Kak shima's open house.. one after another..imagine laksa penang then laksa johor... then later at night watched Ghost Ship with doc, shaz, hetz n abg jo..had to pay full fare for it..darn!!..the story.. oklah.. but not worth my $13.20..that's for sure..
after movie, doc sent us back.. and me.. to my huge empty dark house..
cant believe it i've to spend the nite alone.. i mean in this empty house..
actually..semalam pun..
not too bad since i've a tv in my room.. and the movies..SBS..good international movie..as always..gonna miss them

today non balik from melbourne ...with his fren..
mimi (my new aussie housemate) is also back..
i spot her frying some red chillies and then blending them to make some paste (guna lesung pulak tu!) ... some fierce taste bud.. for an aussie..

ben called a few times today, asking about shipment.. mcm seronok je bunyi nak balik..
ah, who wouldnt be
semalam called abg iwan.. just to inform i'm still alive n will be back next week.. he was surprise.. maybe sebab didnt expect i'd call after hmmm 7 months??..
well, he's a good contact, so y not..call..sekali sekala... he still remember my house phone in kl..by heart!
called win before that.. he's in jolly good mood.. despite the recent operation..
he'll be leaving for kkinabalu next week.. talk about perfect timing..
cant blame him.. bukan dia arrange..
some things may have change.. but win n me.. i'd say we're still cool.. maybe both has grown older..(maybe..ehehe) but i still like having 'clever' conversations with him..
basically still enjoy having him aroundlah.. and one thing i cant wait to go back to is.. his company..
win, if u're reading.. stop smiling.. and shut up!

called jazmi after that.. but he's busy entertaining his fren..
guys stuff.. boys nite out.. wateva..
was too sleepy to 'claim' him from his frens anyway..

cantwaitcantwait to go back!

maybe stories about perth later..
in fact, i'll add some pics of it when my pc dah ok..

ta!

dear ying,

just got back from perth this morning..
was a fun trip but will story later..
chiow!

dear ying,

just checked my result..
I'VE GRADUATED!!!!..PASSED ALL PAPERS!!!!

in sydney now..
will update later...
maybe from perth tomorrow..or later

proud of you!
cool..
oh ying..u've done well!.. : )

dear ying,

where do i start?
ok..
exam's finally over.. all four papers down and (i hope) no more to go, ever, anymore.. (at least not here in pursuit for Bachelor of Comm)
results will be out on 2nd Dec.. which is a dread since it'll be in the middle of my holidays in Perth... after a week of Sydney...in a way.. not much of a holidays before thatlah..
last paper -marketing, was ok.. ok considering i was bedridden and slept almost 3/4 of the day before.. ok considering i never buy the textbook and only managed to borrow one 3 days before the paper
i'm a bit concerned about my accounting paper.. the first one.. which i screwed up.. really well
in this state.. moment.. one can only pray

anyhow anyway..
going to sydney this tuesday..
lish and wee yen will still be around then..
not looking forward to a hectic go places and see things schedule ..just hang out with frens.. and shopping... that's it..
i've been there twice already.. maybe havent seen it all... but after a while everything everywhere just look the same.. maybe a bit bigger there.. gloomier in melbourne.. cleaner in brisbane.. bottomline, they all shut down at 5..nothing equals malaysia (now, that's a stupid one...duhh!)
after sydney i'll be off to perth with hetz.. shaz wont be joining this time
more looking forward to this part of the trip actually since i've never been to perth and being with ben and nabil would spell.. hanging out.. lepak... to the max...(assuming all goes well on the 2nd)
afterall i think i'll be financially drained out after sydney..
hetz and i was suppose to get something for ben and nabil yesterday but i think it skipped our mind.. since we were too busy thinking of wat to order at the Sizzlers..

yeah..the Sizzlers..
we, hetz, me, non, along, doc and abg jo went to berbuka there last night..
it has a good spread of buffet.. well.. the only one i've been to here anyway.. which caters vegetarian as well.. and has affordable seafood menu on its list..
so off we went and i gobbled down the whole seafood platter ++.. yes..++... it's buffet right??
before that me, hetz n non was in city.. from noon really...
wondering around looking for nothing specific other than a dress for my little sister..
ok.. so i end up with a dress for her..(it's Ladybird's.. but it has that aussie summer dress kinda look.. oklah kot.. afterall it's on 20%discount..she'll love me for sure)
a jacket/blazer(?) and a shirt for me.. couldnt resist.. since they were on 50% discount - smart buy huh? ..(cheapskate..cheapskate..)

wat else..
ok.. a day before the kakaks had a berbuka puasa thing ..
almost all malaysian muslims were invited and we had good feast ..really really good overloaded one and of course..photo session.. malaysians wont be malaysians without photo sessions at such event.. at least not here. hetz might go develop the picture today and we'll have it scan and send to berita harian or utusan.. salam perantau...waaa.... and i'm in it?? (still couldnt believe i'm an oversea student.. and finishing soon.. maybe sebab the off late nasik with ayam masak merah .. dalca .. ayam masak lemak cili api and sambal belacan doesnt help to retain the aussie ambience...)

wat else..
called jazmi.. had a talk..
just dont want to think and say anything about it now..

today i planned to pack my stuff.. leave at lizz's house for shipment..
then pack my stuff for my sydney perth trip..
basuh baju.. dah.. but belum jemur..
hmm.. wat else..
yeahhh..colour my hair..
i think i wanna do some extra bit of groominglah today..
after all hetz will be putting a nite here..maybe shaz too and there's 4 episodes of sex in the city..back to back..
just set the right mood..

along already left the buliding.. going back to malaysia tomorrow..sheesh..
me..in about 4 weeks time..
cant wait.. but at the same time a bit worried..
papa is budging about professional course dah..
and jazmi..
and win will be away..
aaa..talked to win the other day.. he was amazingly.. ALIVE.. or.. should i say lively..
got disconnected at a very important note.. nevermind.. will be back soon..
made him come and pick my up..
his kancil is no longer with him...so there might be a transport problem.. the way i see it.. it could be better.. since he will (must) somehow get his sis/his sis's sis in law(??) bigger car to pick me up..like usual... for those who dont know me .. i can fit into kancil.. it's just the mere possibility of my bags and stuff being too big (yeah right!!)

eh..gi jemur kain la..
i can go on forever..
now that i'm back

ok have fun ying!

hi ying..

fever- getting worse..
but
DUIT DAH MASUKKK!!! finally..alhamdulillah

2601 punya paper tadi ok lah jugak..
ntah.. bolehla kot.. dalam2 tak larat ni

maybe tomorrow if i feel worse i might just not fast.. forgot the fact that those who're sick are excused..
but bila pikir kena ganti... ah malas la.. bukan kebulur n terjelepuk lagi pun

just now i slept from 11am to 4 pm.. missed Zohor..selamba..
maybe that's y i feel worse now kot..

anyhow.. almost time to break fast..
masak bubur just now.. really takde selera but if layan tido je i guess things might get worst.. room really messy.. nak mandi just now.. but once kena air just now, my body felt ngilu semacam.. maybe after dinner.. when refresh.. take hot shower..

wateva.. need to go

hi ying..

fever- getting worse..
but
DUIT DAH MASUKKK!!! finally..alhamdulillah

2601 punya paper tadi ok lah jugak..
ntah.. bolehla kot.. dalam2 tak larat ni

maybe tomorrow if i feel worse i might just not fast.. forgot the fact that those who're sick are excused..
but bila pikir kena ganti... ah malas la.. bukan kebulur n terjelepuk lagi pun

just now i slept from 11am to 4 pm.. missed Zohor..selamba..
maybe that's y i feel worse now kot..

anyhow.. almost time to break fast..
masak bubur just now.. really takde selera but if layan tido je i guess things might get worst.. room really messy.. nak mandi just now.. but once kena air just now, my body felt ngilu semacam.. maybe after dinner.. when refresh.. take hot shower..

wateva.. need to go

hi ying,

still feverish.. stayed in bed most of the time today.. but finished 'reading' my 2601 textbook anyhow..
went to uni later in the afternoon to bank in my collection of $2 coins.. worth $180... oh Ying..you've done it again!..ehehe
then went to post office to confirm the package postage.. kena bayar insurance on top of the charge.. and no documentation fees.. oklah kot..
went to student centre to enquire about my graduation forms which hasnt arrived, they issued me one immediately..checked the gown hire.. sheeshh.... beratus jugak.. though we'll be refunded.. but it's not in total.. takpelah.. once a lifetime anyway..
room is in total mess..but just couldnt be bothered.. too tired and too occupied with my last minute studying.. perhaps later, when i'm done with my papers.. and before sydney that is

tonight i'll just read the summary notes and go to bed early..
have to call papa before that to ask him to wake me up tomorrow since paper is at 8.. again
maybe call jazmi after that.. he sounds worried about my fever.. biasala.. usually other ppl are more worried than i am.. to date, i havent taken a single panadol.. still ok.. just ate 2 oranges and drank glasses of fresh juice.. hope the dosage of vitamin C helps.. i'm not making things hard for me but i simply hate medicine.. panadols doesnt do the job for me anymore.. ponstant makes me a lazy bum.. 2 of them and i'm off to paradise..on bed. besides i'll be extremely ketar and just cannot concentrate.just cant afford it now.

my body's very warm but my feet and palms are cold.. and it's just a normal nite..
maybe when i'm done with my studying, makan jelah the ubat..then tido.. should call shaz n hetz to wake me up..in case..

hmm.. wat else..
faiz mailed asking for my address.. for raya card.. i guess i'll be receiving onelah then.. woohoo... record...
tak aci ah.. non dah dapat dua.. maybe he should get himself a christmas tree to hang those cards.. bila lagi nak berlagak orang putih..
eheh.. yeah right..!

cheers!

scary..
i was praying and forgotten my tahyatul.. stopped.. and tried to remember.. nope..i cant!
they say forgetting parts of prayers is a sign.. tak lama lagi..
ish.. panjangkan la umur aku..

Dear Ying,

back after a long break.. (long ke?)
finance paper down.. two more to go..

been having problem sleeping lately..
am having fever now
been thinking a lot about me-jazmi.. wat a perfect time i chose to think about stuff like this..examexamexam..
been spending a lot on phone calls too..
jazmi, as usual.. refuse to talk about it..
'balik dulu.. we talk here later.. u exam dulu..'
that's wat he said.. which i think isnt a good idea..
once jumpa.. err..susahla..i dunno.. it'll be hard..
it has always been like that.. ee geramnya.. exam dulu.. tido dulu.. takyah pikir.. we talk later.. tido dulu.. i'm ok about everything.. blablabla..
am determined not to call for a while (not defining 'a while' here).. maybe that'll give him ample time to invite himself to think... and actually wanna talk about it

ah.. dah dah
went to the house agent just now.. submitted the paper.. logde my intention to leave form.. settle!
now.. khuzai n hetz are having friction over the room.. ish.. dunnolah how..
along, have to paid $900 gitu2 je.. because he's leaving early.. ish kesiannya..
(lagi kesian when he said he meant to belanja us.. before he leave.. but now.. maybe tak sure lagi..d'ohh!)
i intend to belanja non n along jugak.. one final round tgk movie using my concession card.. but along has to pack and move by Sunday.. and there's that bukak puasa thing on saturday at lizz's..
we planned to go to the sizzler's.. the only buffet serving that we can afford.. and not bad either..
alah.. later2.. mintak along blanja kat msia pun ok jugak kan..
and if i were to treat them in msia pun.. save cost woo...

just now apart from gi the agent, went to indorroo..
helped along belikan some girlie stuff for his sis.. girlie stuff-lipsticks n the likes.. which are even too girlie for me.. nasib baik jumpa..
sempat browse around to look for zetty's dress... found few.. cute ones... reasonable..
this saturdaylah probably..
told along nak pesan through him already

hmm..wat else..
disconnect my internet already.. scheduled for disconnection for my house phone..
called vodaphone to plan for disconnection 6 mths from now..
going to call irwan about the phone.. else.. along nak..(or so he says la..)
going to call ansar, nak bagi the books..
who else huh? sold the fridge to kuzai.. tv hetz nak.. meja heater non nak..
almost settle la..
shipment..probably post je.. just need to finalise a few details je

shah mailed..
tak jadi gi london.. they;re going europe tour instead..
lucky schmuggg!!

hmm..oklah kot.. later2..
i think need to take medicinela.. demam is getting worse i guess..
kerusi non pun dah panas ni .. eheehe :)

catch u later!

ta!

Dear Ying..

exam sucks.. big time..
and it's my time management this time.. panic last minute..
but topics covered semalam ngan along, alhamdulillah la jugak..
(those topics carry the lowest marks by the way.. to my dismay..sheeshh!)
anyway.. through my mental calculation just now.. i think it should be ok..
wateva it is i havent used my quota of 3s yet.. insyaAllah..
(isshhh... but still was bengang with the first quest that carried the most marks but was left to the last minutes thinking it was easy and at the end was left almost 50% unattempted due to panic..)
sabar ying.. dah lepas..
and alhamdulillah.. the fact that cover some nitty gritty part with along semalam helps jugaklah today..

so my pc is still not ok..
but i guess i cannot layan sangat kot..
next paper will be finance.. urghh.. berat otak dgr the word.. 'finance'..

got a lot to write (when i dont have the chance to) but dunno wat to say (now that i'm already here)
i guess later2 la..
just brain drain now..

oo.. wish me luck in changing my sleep patern..
since my next 3 papers will be at 8 am in the freaking morning..
sleeping at 4 everyday is suicide..

internet connection almost time out..
so i guess i shall be out of here...

out of here!

-i feel like an alien here..miss my Boy..

Dear Ying,

blogging from non's pc again.. while he's cooking dinner for us.. kanak2 ade exam esok.. THX non..
Boy is back in the bag.. kemas all the speaker n printers as well..
baru ingat nak amik gambar my work station with my Boy there..
hari ni dah wrap up everything.. sedih sangat masa kemas2.. when everything is done.. oklah..maybe not so bad... at least i have some spare space on the desk..(yeah right..consoling).. then i realised.. no music!!!... all i can hear is the loud chinese slang outside.. thx to my 'international' housemates..
buat muka kesian kat non and along.. along lend his cd player.. bolehla.. it ont replace boy for sure.. but.. at least..
kalau nak amik gambar, later2 la.. saje, buat kenangan ..
i cannot bare looking at Boy on my study desk.. lifeless..

'Boy' dah try to fix Boy..
pun takleh..
he said Boy tak coma..demam je..
but kena betulkan the CDRom drive tu dulu.. ish..
balik nantila..
maybe betulla apa along cakap.. kena stop namakan my fav stuff 'Boy'..mcm suwey je..(wateva that means...hmm..)
yelah.. my printer.. my gold fish.. semua nama boy and semua errk..

i guess i've just have to bare with it.. for a month!!!!

still feeling upset.. will be till it's ok..
anyway, if u guys wanna insight of wat i feel now..
rasa mcm baru break dgn bf.... seriously..
feel incomplete n tak senang duduk.. lost.. one big whole in my life.. haa...
like your life system/routine is left to its very minimal..

cant wait to go to sydney..

anyway, shaz's here to sama2 do the touch up for acc...konon touch up.. study gitugitu ade hati nak touch up..

lots to do for tomorrow's paper..biasala.. (nasib baik gak..)

ok..kena pasang blenderla pulak.. alahai non..

ta!

dear ying

blogging from non's computer..
my Boy is in a comatose state now..
i am sad.. but not much time for whining.. since exam is tomorrow.. and the hantu gua is finally out of his gua,asking some questions.. freaking me out as expected..
shaz will be coming in a shrt while
havent bathed and need to kemas bilik kejap..

tension maut with my (notebook) fate..
just called Asus.. they dont cover software warranty..
darn darn darn!!!!
received techincal support from msian and spore to no avail..
papa has given me the green light to do wateva i want/can with it..
even if it's not covereb by warranty..
i guess he understands where the notebook stands in my life heirarchy..,

anyway, got to go..
another attempt to selamatkan Boy..
with Boy the hnatu gua to help my Boy.. mintak2 bolehlaa...

anyway,
thanks a lot Jazlan and Adi.. even though the tech support tak fruitfull.. it somehow gave me some moral n emo support as well.. (yes, i am that affected.. the whole dream last nite was about my pc...)
never expected your guys called..
now i understand.. computer2 ni is such great passion to many kan??

speaking of which..along mintak tgk the computer.. another attempt as i said..
i'm almost determine to bungkus je pc tu dah..
nak balik dah..

ok,ok
got to run..
ta!

adi...jazlan.. jazmi.. thx again...

hi ying,

came across a few journals which have been abandoned for days, weeks... since the authors are busy with exams and assignments..
well.. totally the opposite is happening here...
as the exam inch closer i find this blog is the most interesting place to be..(exclusively applicable to me only, i'm sure)
tak kisah la.. as long as study jalan.. if this helps ..y not..

speaking of study..
this 'minah study' (pls refer adi) has finally managed to put aside her acc notes for a while.. for a very short while actually..
finally khatam jugak.. but not too confident with the real pracs..takpelah..later later..
now tgh 'indulge' in finance.. which suddenly makes more sense after few days of accounts, journals, balance sheets and profitloss statements..
after 4 months belajar this thing baru tau wat is binomial, expectation pricing and black scholes.. seriously..despite the fact that the lecturer has been mentioning it trillion times..
ok, enuff, enuff.. minah study konon... if i were one.. then i wouldnt be mentioning every bit that i've accomplished.. it'll be a routine of some kind..ni nampak sgt ah.. habis satu topik.riuh sekampung..
ehehe..so shaz, cool it (heard from hetz that u were intimidated by these ramblings.. seriously.. u know me better)

besides studying (cheyyyy!!) i was busy browsing around other journals today (yeah yeah.. wat else is new)
came across cool ones.. (cool ones : many ideas, own identity)
though i sense pretense in some.. almost like mentioning stuff for read sake, rather than write sake.. (forget it)
YB lalat, budak mana ntah, another budak mana ntah
i dunno.. maybe it was just a cruel accusation.. u go see for yourself then..
i think maybe later i'd put a list of links that i think is cool to me.. honest ones.. and those poser ones.. saje.. pastu habis aku kena tabur!! saje.. it's exam season.. this kind of shit should be permitted.

but, to think of it..
is mine any good in the first place..
tak kisah la.. bukan nak masuk those 'best web' contest or.. best journal.. wateva..
never, never occur to me..
dont even have a hit counter pun..
and not planning to have one either..

hmm..wat else..(starting to sound like shah.. yes.. it can get irritating if that's ur overuse phrase)
tadi makan pasta.. and will be having the same thing for sahur..
along n non makan sub n sandwich..
waaa... sakan bukak puasa kat oversea.. yeah right
i bet we'll be back to nasik in no time..
rasa nak makan cucur udangla pulak..
hmmm....i guess tomorrow u'll see me walking to coles for udang.. and tepung.. n chives.. n chilli..
ala...byk songeh la pulak.. ni malas ni..
thought just wanna finish my 'stock' and not buy anything dah... but ying got to do (buy n cook) wat ying want to do (eat)

havent Isya' yet ni.. terawikh lagila kan..
finished 1st juz just now..
macam terkorban je malam ni.. isyak dah la kot.. ehehe.. err..apedaa..

irwan called just now.. borak2 kosong..
which reminds me i need to send in my choice of company placement..
err.. how ah?? really clueless.. consulted papa to no avail.. he said semua company renong tak guna dah.. oh thanks for the help pa!
will mail dr ikmal tomorrow.. just to 'casually' ask about the cos.. perhaps that'll shed some light..
but looking at situation now..if dapat in any of the co... that'll be good enough..
seriously not looking fwd to cari kerja.. wish renong have some vacancy for the few of us.. at least 5 yrs guaranteed.. and it'll look nice on my resume later.. wateva is happening to renong.. at least ppl has recognised its name..
plus.. really dont want to get start of in papa's co immediately.. let it be somewhere for me to settle down forever.. meanwhile.. gauge experience elsewhere..
afterall i guess it's too risky to get involved now.. the co is still young and the whole family is depending on the same source.. papa, mama..abe..

eh ...laaa..
dah 2.30 am..
was thinking about calling jazmi.. hasnt called him for err.. 3 days.. maybe after my self interrogation that day.. (ok drop it)
and tak semayang lagi.. sahur lagi..
ish.. luckily i noticed now..
since i can go on typing forever.. and miss my isya' n sahur while at it..
hahah.. that'll b a story to tell ..

oklah..

ying has left

hi ying..

another great day i must say..
though it's just 5.19pm.. i can sense it'll be a very fruitful n cool day

the weather to start with... is just very beautiful..
almost like a scene in a movie or something..
mild wind.. cool temparature.. birds chirping.. and sun..just enough to warm the day.. birds chirping.. and the smell of fresh grass.. (really..not exagerating)
*sigh.. wish my family's here..
now bila ingat balik msia.. the fumes n all... nasib baik stay at 16th floor..somehow, psychologically feel it's cleaner up there.. could b the total reverse actually..

ish.. internet connection almost time out dah..
will update later, after berbuka..
berbuka..
wat to eat aa? maybe pasta la today...the sauces byk lagi.. cream ke bolognaise??
kalau pikir now, semua nak..

ish.. oklah..
see u later..

ta!

dear ying..

it's 1.37 am.. and i'm hungry..
another hour baru makan la kot..
still going thru my JV notes.. done with the text book.. next lecture note.. then the tutes..
i'm quite sure the tutes will only be tomorrow..

hmm.. nak makan apa for sahur?
was thinking bread again.. ke maggi.. malas ah maggi ni.. kang kembung lagi.. maggi to me = angin..
goreng telur, baked beans... roti..
hmm.. ok gak kot..
ok.. settle..

hmm.. nak call jazmi ke tak?
maybe i'll give him a call kejap..
been meaning to call farez.. but always remember a little too late..
hope he'll do ok in his next paper..
dear God.. bless his effort.. i'm sure he has put his best..

tadi call khuzai.. his bday today..
he sounds a bit down.. or maybe just tired..

today has been great..
it rained.. yes.. as i wish..
finally defrosted my fridge.. after it successfully built a huge block of ice in the freezer compartment (with all my ayam n daging in it)
tomorrow maybe i'll do a bit of cleaning up... buang mana patut..
maybe tak jadi go to uni afterall.. since i think i'll start early tomorrow.. sbb heaps to cover..
probably go to coles later.. if shaz not coming to study that JV part.. does not matter.. no rush pun..

4 episodes of sex in the city..back to back .. can be a bit too much..
was yawning through the last one..
but yeah.. it was something.. better than any movie i've watched for the past few weeks..
yeah.. that includes Talented Mr Ripley.. which manage to change my perception about Mr Matt...
alah..it's just his character in that film.. meaning he played it well la kot.. sbb it almost make me pull down his poster off my bedroom wall..
maybe i'll just pull it down anyway.. ntah.. malu ah tgk dia n dia tgk balik.. (wat the??)
susah susah.. ngan org tak hensem mcm tu pun boleh prasaan prasaan mcm ni..

half way through 1st juzuk..
sayu jugak semayang terawikh sorang2 tadi.. ntah.. it was THAT feeling again... sayu semacam... tak kisah ah bukak puasa maggi ke..roti ke.. but if semayang terawikh sorang2.. terus rasa lain mcm.. tak best punya lain mcm...
hmm.. takpelah ying... nak balik dah..

oklah..
better go now..
banyak nak cover lagi ni..
tak habis yg ni.. takleh continue finance..(looking fwd to this one actualy)

Thank God for the great day
nite

dear ying...

woke up at 11.30am..
despite going to bed only at 6am this morning..
going thru the JV chapter now..
should finish before berbuka..
since determined to finally start terawikh and Quran today..
plus there's 4 x Sex in the City tonight..
i dont think i can do much as far as academic is concern tonite..

emmm.. almost 4pm already
nak makan apa ek?
was thinking of that thousand years old chicken fillet in the fridge..
marinate with bbq sauce, grill..makan ngan roti.. best gak ek..
melted cheese n mushroom.. think i still have some mushroom left..
teringat swiss mushroom burger king.. bukan suka sgt pun... but biasala.. bila takde baru nak..(humanly enough..that goes for everything in life)
aaa... bolehla kot, ok.. menu settle.. err.. automatically feeling hungry now..

havent write to farez yet..
better do it today..
tomorrow if weather ok.. thinking of going to uni.. jumpa tutor to clarify some stuff.. quite a list.. takpe.. jumpa sekaligus..
then can go borrow that mktg book.. and send the aerogram to farez..
if weather permits
speaking of weather..
today is really cool.. tak panas sgt.. very windy.. cerah yet a bit gloomy..
a little bit of everything..
i hope it rain tonight.. lama tak rasa bestnya hujan malam...

currently listening to sergio mendes.. dloaded quite a collection..
balik msia nak beli cd writer ah..
yup..first thing to do sampai2 je malaysia.. besides nasik lemak mamak n satay
send Boy (introduce:mydearestnotebook) for thorough service.. maybe upgrade sikit..(nak mende lagi ni??)
you've done well Boy!!
if there's one boy i will ever be sure of loving n living with for the rest of my life.. this is it.. THE Boy! (ok..let's not go into this)

papa's online.. tegur jap ah
which reminds me.. cash is running low (ee..shame on u)
oh yeah..had series of dreams about belanjaing various frens of mine..
something i enjoy doing.. yet only feasible in malaysia..
insyaAllah

ok.. JV continued..
ta!

WARNING : VERY LONG ENTRY WITH NO SENSE AT ALL. DO CONSIDER LEAVING

hi ying..

baru lepas sahur..
ate last nite's dinner..
had dinner with along, non n hetz.. non's bday.. 27.. happy bday warden!
cooked telur bungkus, n sayur goreng.. n non cooked his ayam kicap..
oklah.. kenyang.. puas hati
then later we brought him bday cake.. nyanyi.. makan..(lagi)

went to city.. as planned.. with hetz
been a very good girl..
all i got for myself is that printer cartridge.. and that's it..
from 12-5.. loitering around city.. MYER centre.. wintergarden.. tried this.. tried that..
window shopping sewindow shoppingnya...

God it's hot today..
(wonder wat's waiting in the world hereafter...err...)

revision updates.. none..
well started on JV.. but dont think can finish it tonite..
wateva it is.. by tomorrow should be done with accounting..
since barely half way through with finance..
and it's finance that i'm more concerned about..
monday JV
tues chapt 7 & 8 finance..
wed chapt 9
thurs acc review..
fri paper..
then on can start doing my finc extra quest..COOL..
planning jelah ni..

it's 3.43 am ..suppose to be studying if not sleeping.. but here i am, doing neither..and nothing
hetz putting a nite here.. and she has put her nite quite soundly already
feel weird..(nothing new)
suddenly feel bad about jazmi n me..
somehow feel i should really consider stuff seriously..(well... as if i'm playing games here)
am i really in love with him...or is it just the idea of having him around that i'm in love with..
am i just hanging by till a better person comes around..
JAHATNYAA..

am i really in love with him? though things happened in just a blink of time.. i know i'm not fooling around with him..
cos it was not all bed of roses anyway.. susah nak plan kluar since he doesnt drive.. he works late at times.. which limits our phonecalls n outings too..
i dont think i'm taking advantage of him in terms of material.. we take turns paying bills.. he never get me any expensive gift pun.. and i spend on him sikit jugak..
we were very dependent on each other.. yet mutually exclusive.. phonecalls are a must but none wont kill.. (?..hmm)
how do i know if i love him.. or is it just like any other 'likes' that i've experienced..
well.. till now.. he's the last person i think abt before dozing off..
and the first when i wake up..
whenever something significant happen (no matter wat degree of significance.. more like evrything)
i want him to be the first to know..
this is getting a bit.. err.. karat.. but when i think of my 'little yings'.. i thought of 'jazmi juniors' as well.. (trying to put this as subtle as possible)
when i was away holidaying.. besides family.. i wish he was around ..
it sucks whenever at the beach.. how he loves the beach.. wanna house tepi laut and all.. how i wanna have him around then..
i never stop dreaming of him..
no matter how i tremble whenever i received shah's mail..
or how affected i am by 'the fren' whom i claim i like so much.. jazmi jugak that appear in my dream at night..
been trying to ignore it.. but now it doesnt take much effort to realise that he's 'with me' everyday..
his name is almost in each entry in this journal anyway.. couldnt be more obviouslah!
if it was infatuation, it should be over by now.. obsession? should kill me by now..

why after almost 9 months.. i am worried about it now..
why not when i was replying shah's emailssss
y not when i was so absorbed in my admiration towards mr (i thought) perfect..
maybe sebab wat has happen kot.. mailed shah, talked to him..went out with him.. pressure from papa n mama.. from everyone back home.. still.. tak terbukak hati..
i thought..would it be any different if he was taller.. bigger.. maybe not.. it's him that i'm not attracted to .. not his height or wateva..ntah..i couldnt imagine waking up next to him for the rest of my life.. i can maybe.. but eee.. wat an empty life.. dont get me wrong .. he's ok.. but i'm not..ehhe.. wat else can i say anyway..
now, if win was that shah's height... dah different story jugak kot..(i might not even be stuck here blurting this confusion out..eheheh..let's not include another variable here), so it wasnt really his height..
so.. it's him.. and when compared (wat a word to use) with jazmi.. he is better off in many sense.. family background-familiar n keen...academic-similar...look-he has better look..have to admit..the kind that i'd go for.. (maybe i was wrong afterall..).. job security-confirm... hartabendawangringgit-goes without saying...
then pesal i'm stuck thinking about jazmi when this shah dah ade everything i need..
maybe wants n needs differ here..
maybe i'm not in love with shah full stop.. and i am with jazmi..(?) ..
is it that simple? cannot be..

then there's this mr almost perfect..which has denied me in a perfect way... couldnt ask for better.. : )
been telling jazmi about him.. to his approval.. and keen inquiries..
but then, when i felt bad about this perfect guy telling me about pursuing his perfect girl.. it occurs to me that i might be hurting jazmi the same way..if not worse..
which made me feel even worse.. felt that i've no business complaining about how hurt i am by this guy when i am doing the same thing to jazmi.. whom i claim to still care a lot about ( i really do)
well... i could have been as insensitive as my dearest and didnt realise this.. but i did..
is that a justification for the strong word l.o.v.e? i dont think so.. i dunno wat i'm trying to say here..

i know..
once one starts having doubts about his/her feelings..
then maybe it's not it..
but if it's love.. then are we not allowed to question/doubt it just for the sake of reality check..?

really confused..
and dont want to go on closing one eye to this matter anymore..
i know.. makin lama.. makin teruk.. if it ends on a bitter note..
my instinct says.. this is not meant to be.. leave him before u hurt him even more
my heart says.. u very much so like him an extra lot bit.. and u know that

i say.. i need to sleep.. (another day of 'sleeping on it' wont cause much difference i guess)

good nite..
and the sun is rising outside..

p/s: shaz, hetz... (and those who know my batang hidung)..if u're reading.. u're not.. OK?cool..

hi ying

feeling very 'sticky' now..
perhaps the weather... nak mandi jap lagi..
but brian's showering..
later la..
nak study tak masuk dah..

feeling very weird today..
perhaps sbb i was 'forced' to break fast at 5.50 on my first day of fasting.. darn!!
since i'm aware some are reading this.. i shall not go into details.. (but it's my journal for heaven's sake..lantaklah)
anyhow.. cooked some mee hoon just now.. sama sibuk dgn non n along yg puasa..
saje.. action mesti ada..


downloaded few verses of Quran and some zikir..
seriously reminded of KYS.. missed fasting there actually.. at least it's better than here..
the break fast.. ramai2.. meriah gak la.. then sahur with hundreds of zombies..
i will NEVER forget the trick they (dining hall people) use to wake us up.. let me say, thank God i'm still alive after those wake up calls..
they took the word 'kejutkan' too seriously i guess..
qiamulail is another memorable activity... with special menu (read: sate) as sahur..
actually.. i've quite a diverse fond memories of the fasting month..

anyway..FINALLY paham jugak this equity chapter.. or so i think..
havent done the tutorials yet though..maybe after shower..
i think gonna start on JV tonite..
i really think i should go to city tomorrow..
was doing some mental calculation while showering just now..( i must admit, shower time is my most productive and analytical time)
allowance will only be in on 17th..or so they say..
a week to that.. and i'm left with..
err... reallyreally minimal.. allocated some for my phonecalls.. i think this phone expense is really eating me uplaa..
tak kisah la.. no regrets.. think company would do me more good than food these days..
that's y thinking of going to city tomorrow..since i can go on off peak saver.. well.. it makes a differencelah!
note: need to buy printer cartridge.. print tute solutions n lecture notes.. yes...when it's just a week b4 exam..

how do u actually live on $10..?
i wonder, having read adi's journal..
till now i havent experienced anything that bad.. close though..when i was left with -$24.50 in my account last semester.. but my allowance arrived 2 days after that..
does that count?? i think it does.. it's quite a story to tell.. 'i used to live on a negative bank balance..'
something similar is about to happen soon i guess..
but this time, thanks to my collection of $2 coins.. i can buy a pair..or 2 of that typical adidas loafers if i want.. with wat i've collected..
was actually planning to buy something for keepsake using that money..
just to remind me how diligent i was in refraining myself from using those small cute $2 coins..
well..it pays i guess..
but now.. i guess it'll have to be used to pay my rent.. tension betul..baru nak sentimental with myself..
if Renong's punctual..then i'm finela.. but err.. not putting much hope on them..stdlaa..

eh..pelik!..
i'm feeling hungry.. at at 6.30..only 6 hrs..
is this justified??
reallyla.. my stomach is howling n growling already... err... tak logik nak makan now.. mcm esok puasa pun..
or should i just sahur n try my luck again tomorrow..
but takkan nak sahur now..
life is tough n complicated : )

esok bday non..
dunno wat to do/give
y must everyone's bday fall during the exam season..
well.. y should i question..ehehe...

oklah..mandi la kot..
then call jazmi jap..
then sambung JV...
or sambung JV dulu..
then call J..
sambung dulu aa..
then baru call J..
kang tak tercontrol lak timing..

mandi dulu ying..mandi dulu..
then makan..ehehe
(who's that??)

hi ying

just got back from lizz's place..
yes, after 48 hours of tak memalukan diri..
went thereto study really..well managed to cover 1.5 topics.. ok dah lah tu..
accompanied by 2 hindi movies, 1 malay movie.. and 1 english movie..how's that??
banyak plates of nasik, n salmon, n 2 hrs of tennis.. 17 hours of sleep.. and countless hours of browsing through msian entertainment magazines and gossiping about much-missed (yeah right) msian local talents (talents???)
sounds like fun.. all that in 48 hours..

and now, i'm back in this lonely room..
which doesnt feel all that lonely... after 48 hours of camping in front of the tv in someone's living room..
i treasure my solitude afterall..
and at these times i can just sit n do nothing in this room and feel good about it..
weird me..

non ajak masak berbuka..
tgh malas sebenarnya ni.. meat n stuff still abundance..
but too lazy to cook..
sorrylah non, next time ah... when i feel like cooking.. which is usually when i'm bored of studying..(veryvery soon)
thought i'll just have something light tonite..
yeah... first day of puasa n thinking of something light..
no harm.. 'plenty in storage' anyway.. need to dispose some (most) pun actuallynya..

got to finish that equity bit by tonite..
and possibly start the JV part before sahur..
boleh kot.. if tak boleh, cannot go to city tomorrow..
feel like doing damage to my bank account, which is already in a very severe condition..
but really need to start buying stuff for balik anyway.. yeah yeah.. excuse.. nak escape study cakap jelah..

i think better go start now.. that equity part..getting on my nerves i tell u! eheh..
seriously, my language is deteriorating.. but who cares.. takde org lain baca pun.. and if ada... if tak paham.. well..this is not to be understood anyway..
eh but ada..
thx for visiting Adi
urs is not bad at all... though penguasaan bahasa kita berbeza2(what the???).. yg penting mesej dapat diketengahkan.. dalam ertikata lain mesej itu sampai (swear i'm posessed by someting now..didnt write this)... sampai kat mana.. ntah! : )
kan betul.. the only perfect place to be is close to your family.. dok msia sorang2 pun tak best gak kan?
just one correction though.. my housemates are cool.. takde yg kedekut.. the 'selfish' term was really misapplied by someone else..<
anyway, pleasant day ying..

nganjing!!

hi ying

baru lepas masak bubur jagung..
going to lizz's house in a bit.. bawak some for them, as planned earlier..
berbudi bahasa la ni..
just a token, going to lepak there since i cannot do any studying in my own room.. no matter how big it is..how comfortable, convenient and cool.. i can easily get bored..
so..thought going to their house would be a good idea.. lizz will be very busy with her thesis.. kak ros n kak yus.. should be occupied with their own stuff..more like.. a library with a friendlier environment..

woke up late today..did wake up at 7...but shut the alarm clock n happily continue my slumber.. selambe..
woke up again at 1pm.. how's that, solid 12 hours of sleep..
currently feeling realy guilty..but not enough to set me on my studying moodlah..
went to coles, paid my bills (finally!)
did my laundry.. kemas my bilik..
see..everything in perfect order dah.. and i'm here preparing for my escapism to lizz's

tensionnya..
read everybody else's journal.. stories about sahur..bukak puasa...
even jazmi pun cerita about how they plan to cook for sahur.. ayam masak merah la.. sawi ikan masinla... and they call that sahur..(?!)
and i'm stuck here.. having subway for my lunch..not that i'm complaining..(yelah tu) but.. where's ramadhan for me??
yesterday, non n along keluar masak.. but masing2 with masing2's food.. and silence..
guess that's the price u've to pay for choosing to stay in 'selfish' (term applied by someone) boarding house like this..
oh well.. at least i can plan my own diet for this puasa month..
and macamla all these while we were terawkhing ramai2...
er..one thing about this fasting month.. wat happen to my bahasa??

i wonder how is is at home this year..
Yeh must be having tough time.. SPM lagi tu...
away from home..
when the school is almost empty..
i remembered those days..
at least it was not fasting month..
i dunno wat is it about terawikh.. really tears factorylah for me..
something about hearing Quran recital.. make me feel wanna be as close as possible to home..

last year i didnt manage to celebrate ramadhan with them but it didnt feel this bad..
maybe this year rasa mcm dok oversea kot..
with international housemates.. and malaysian housemates whom i see once in a .. while..
it feels lonely here..
teringat puasa at home..
the entree is almost like some ppl's main course..
then maghrib..where my bros would be pushing and shoving each other to amik air semayang.. no one wants to leave the table.. till papa give us 'the look'
if we're thoughtfull enough to take air semayang before berbuka.. we'll be the proudest person there... since we dont have to actually leave the table when the food baru je nak cecah perut..
before maghrib berjemaah was 'enforced' ..ehehe.. we would either race to perform the prayers first, individually.. or (more often than not) wait till everyone's done with maghrib..kira fight la ni.. sapa last.. but it's kind of hard to win when everyone is waiting for everyone else..
those were the days.. me n my bros..
after maghrib, we'll have the main course..
then.. dessert..
then tv..eheheh... not for long though.. since papa will announce the terawikh soon..
not until last few years.. tv is a definite no-no before 10pm during ramadhan..
those who received phone calls before 10 will also received those annoyed (and annoying) stare...
my bros will never let this opportunity.. siap mengeleng2 lagi masing.. like it's the biggest sin in lifelah..
it was never said nor written..but this rule is understood.. and i made my frens understand them too..ehehe

terawikh is another funfilled activitied between me n my bros..eheheh
either when we're terawikhing at home or at masjid..
at home.. they'll play this game.. sapa bangun paling lambat without kena marah dgn imam (after every salam)
they're kids then.. but woouldnt be surprised if they're still doing it..
then they'll play pukul2 cubit2 when papa dah angkat takbir..
the trick is to pukul a person then cepat2 angkat takbir so that he cannot balas..
even mama cannot say anything to this... watching from saf belakang, she would always say.. bila la nak besar budak2 ni..

terawikh at masjid means exchanging notes..
they would eye on girls and watch her every move.. and note when she misses her terawikh...
and when they see potential guys..they'll report to me..
cool or wat...
but of course they be ' takleh la kak ying..dia ni tak pernah miss terawikh..baik sgt utk kak ying..'
OUCHH!!
same thing occurs at pasar ramadhan..
the best thing is come end of puasa month..
when we are each allocated sum of money to buy baju.. masing2 mula la..
and like it or not.. i'll automatically be their image consultant..

aahhh..miss them so much!!
so damn bloody much..
shall write to farez later.. his exam is.. ..errkk...tomorrow!!!
shit.. i havent any credit.. mcm mana nak call.. arghhh...kan.. miss sgt..then tak ingat pun..haiyaa..kakyingkakying..

eh.. gtg la..
bubur jagung tu dah nak sejuk..
better go now..
ok ying..
u take care

ta!

hi ying

just thought this is worth jotting down..
weird how a total stranger can make my day.. and it's 10.45pm
dunno who he is.. and i guess he dont have a clue who i am anyway..
but he made my day..
i didnt even realised about it till he mailed me.. maybe cos i never expect anyone to read it except for a few.. very few.. can still count using one side of the hand..ehehe..
and planning to just keep it that way..
anyway, thanks adi..
the feeling's mutual..

back to translating foreign accountss...
accounting is booooringgg...

dear ying,

today is 1st Ramadhan..
and as usual.. i missed out.. urrghh... bencinya..yeah.. blame it on my precise bio clock!
missed the first terawikh.. missed the first day of fasting..
anyhow.. decided to go on as if i'm fasting today even though didnt sahur anything last night.. well, easy to say when i woke up at 1pm today hehehe...
didnt feel a hint of hunger.. but drank lots of water though.. alah.. dah memang takleh puasa..

as far as my studying schedule goes.. still timely..
covered more than half of the accounting stuff already..

oh yeah.. was browsing for professional courses..found that CIMA is not that bad afterall.. at least it's mgmt accouting to start with..
and learnt that i got exemption for the first 2 levels.. cool or wat? duhh.. having done(doing) commerce..of courselah
so another 11 subjects to go..if i'm not mistaken..
maybe 3 papers per sitting.. 2 sittings a year.. hmm..so how would that work out.. 2 years and i'm Nik Norezreen Nik Adnan (ACMA)..
ahahaha.... start dah berangan..
one thing very attractive about CIMA is, upon it's completion, there's only one more stage to CFA.. my too-good-to-be-true vision..
wateva it is, finals.. less than a week's time..
first thing first ying..

yesterday's been weird..
called jazmi and end up in a very2 long conversation..
urghhh.. planned to sleep early and wake up early and look wat happen..
i'm in deep shit.. i made him cry again.. well vice versa.. but yeah.. i made the big huge J cry!
he wants to see papa.. and he is serious all these while.. despite his 'i'm fine with everything' attitude..
told him it's not him that i'm doubtful about ..it's.. yes.. it's me.. hi!
i dont think it'll be that hard for me to chew if it's just an ordinary 'meet the parent' thing..
but it's him..jazmi..
i know i have very reasonable parents, and i dont think they would immediately reject the idea of the meet.. but it's to scary for me to think of the outcome of the meeting...
he says, he just wanna see him.. wanna see them.. wateva the meeting is about is really up to my parents' reaction...
just now i was online with papa.. and again, as usual he was provoking me about this marriage thingy..yes, one impatient old man he is..
was telling him about my research on pro courses.. and he responded well to it..
except for ..' so apart from all these planning you have.. bila nak kawin?'
aaaahhh....i'm 22 for God's sake!
i wish i can say when.. no.. hold on.. at least i can say with who..
he was like.. takkan takde..
i was reaaally near to asking him about meeting jazmi..
decided it was a wrong idea... wrong timing..
maybe i'll finish my exam first..
then wait for the result..
then i should tell them..
jazmi wanna see you..
i just want them to be comfortable around each other (too much to ask for ying?)
at least i can include jazmi into my guests list for any occasion..
that's fine enough..
ok..just wait till i'm done with wateva i'm doing now..ok?

in a pretty messed up mood today..
thought i'll go pay my bills.. they're due today anyway..
go buy some sweetcorns.. buat bubur jagung.. non nak.. and bring some over to the kakak's lair..ehehe
but then again.. was in a pretty messed up mood..
maybe tomorrow..

been surfing others' websites..
came across few interesting ones today...
hmm.. bila nak buat sendiri punya ni..
i've got ideas for it already.. but not the time to implement it..
after exam...
everythinglah after exam.. ehehehe..
among those i visited, came across one.. alone in kl with parents far away..
weird.. macam2 org ek in this world...
in japan enjoying the (japanese chicks) view..
in the uk enjoying Dr Pepper.. i assume it's a softdrink and it exists..
in malaysia, missing family in beijing
in brisbane, bogged up in his room nurturing pimples at the age of 22.. God knows wat he's doing .. (i shoudnt give a shit then..)
in brisbane, digesting journals thinking of the joy of being in msia in 2 mths time, when he just got here 3 mths back..
in brisbane, talking about her hsemates in her journals as if she got nothing better to do when really, her exam is starting on the 15th..
and yes, that's me..
and i shall go now..

dear ying..

covered topics that i'm suppose to cover today.. kira timelylah ni..
havent showered yet.. maybe later and then touch a bit on tomorrow's topics..

went to pay the flight ticket to msia just now..
felt lega dah..
called my house agent, and made arrangement for the inspections.. to vacate the room..
sheesh.. i'm leaving.. already.. finally..
i dunno which is more appropriate.. leaving already... leaving finally..
1.5 years..
i like it here.. it's just the distance, away from my family, that i hate..
seriously love the lifestyle here.. if only i can have my family staying here with me..
and if only the shops close late nite..
if only..
nothing's perfect..
no place is either..

was thinking about my stuff..
i dunno if i can do without any shipment.. some to khairy.. some to mama n papa.. some with me..
somehow rasa sedih about leaving..
somehow very glad my studies are over..

tomorrow i shall go to uni to borrow that mktg book
and pay my bills..
yeah, commitee dinner tomorrow nite..
ahhh... CSI miss!!

and tomorrow dah start terawikh..
last year tak khatam.. just a bit over half je sempat..
this year.. insyaAllah nak khatam..
hopefullyla..with trips to Sydney and Perth..err...ehehe..

budget tadi.. is seriously broke..
first week of the month and broke.. how??
balik malaysia lagi bagus..

ok..really need to shower now..

nite.. ta!

Dear ying,

Just got back from Het'z place..
the dinner went fine except for the leftovers that's more than enough to feed us for the next whole week..
didnt eat much of the ikan bakar.. and the rendang.. hmm.. didnt eat muchla full stop... but i'm sickeningly full.. maybe the cooking process is too memualkan already..
hope they enjoyed the dinner.. i did, as much as i've enjoyed preparing it..
ok.. from now on.. no more cooking i guess.. just 3 weeks away from my holiday away anyway..
oh well.. felt goodlah, can feed that many perut tonight..

am really tired but still refusing to sleep..
thought i should do some revising..
a nice quick warm shower may be a good idea....
but too tired to even change my clothes pun.

maybe i'll just go to sleep n have an early start tomorrow..

ah.. we'll see..

anyhow.. good nite for now..

Dear ying,

just came back from shopping for stuff to cook for this sunday dinner..
somehow.. excited pulak..
like it cost me less than $30 to feed 15 people...
wow..
murah rezeki diorang..murah rezeki aku..insyaAllah

met Shah last nite.. finally..
he was being his usual.. very nice, very sarcastic.. very cousin..
despite watever has happen betwen us thru emails n phonecalls.. it seems some things never change..
went to meet him in the city with hetz.. i guess it's appropriate since he brought 3 frens along..

was in the city earlier yesterday too..
was browsing around, 'finding' shoes, sandals.. clothes..dresses (??)
when hetz asked about meeting shah...it never occur to me that i'll be nervous or even that bothered about it anymore..
well.. then came the sms.. he was already in the city by then..
err.. i just couldnt look at any more shoes, no discounts can attract me at that time..
i was NERVOUS.. yes, the joke is on me
and it felt like the first time i met him..
sheeshh..
suddenly it all came to me.. i actually rejected him once..
not just any plain proposal that was..
it was like.. err.. 'marry me' in more words.. ehehe..
yeah, seriously..
and i rejected
and there were few months of silence between us...
and now here he is.. paying a visit in brisbane.. from malaysia..
i never know i could ever be too nervous to part my hair, apply my lipstick, wear my earings properly..
i was shaking through it all... eee...
but calmed down in the bus.. surely, the butterflies still wont go away..

then.. there he was.. in his (veryveryshort) shorts and striped polo t shirt..
handshakes, hi.. and then dinner..
all in all he was ok... actually more than ok..
he was all natural.. like before..
and i didnt feel awkwards watsoever throughout the whole outing..
maybe when we were teased by his frens..and that's only once.. and when he said.. he's single..still single..

he was really nice to hetz.. a sign that he can get along with my frens..
and his frens are ok too.. wat can i say about a bunch of thirtysomethings on holiday..
and hetz said he's ok too..and that he is nothing like i pictured him to be..

i dont like this..
suddenly he's so normal..
suddenly it seems ok afterall..wont elaborate on that now..
he keeps on saying i'll see you in 2 months time..
suddenly two months doesnt seem that far away
2 months time..
promised me a dinner for my bday cum graduation
yeah, 2 months time..

called mama for no reason..
told her about the outing and all..
papa was in the background, listening.. as usual..
and he sounds excited by this positive development..
wat positive development???
mama asked, so wat say hetz..
well... suddenly i felt cornered..
damn..

then called faiz.. maybe only he would understand how i can switch mode form one person to another..
talking about switching mode..
yes, i called jazmi again.. (it's been daily for this week.. short 10 mins daily)
wasnt going to tell him.. thought it's not appropriate..
but he asked.. and i told him.. bits n pieces..
he went.. 'it's nice to hear things are ok'
i hate him...
why must he be very nice about everything all the time..
maybe it's my subconcious guilt about treating jazmi this way and thinking about wat could have been (or wat will be happening) between me n shah
as for the other interesting party .. i'm starting to see the human side of him.. so he's not perfect afterall.. and somehow.. time do decide
and i think throughout the months.. i've seen more than i wanna know about him...
as reality surfaces, i guess the debits n credits of the person need to be readjusted..
anyhow, he is a good friend who maybe, was suppose to stay that way from day one..
and as i've said once.. i owe him an apology n a big thank.
sorry n thanks bro!
(i'll find a day when i'm thickface enough to say this to his face rather then here.. meanwhile.. this would do.. eheh)

okla..
yes, room is still messy..
clean up!

Dear ying,

classes are over..
over for the rest of my undergraduate studies!!...phewww..!!!
handed in the finance assignment just now.. was amazed to see the printed version of the Macros... macam buat computer courselah pulak..
anyway.. it's over.. met Zel for the last time ( i think ) bid farewell and wished her gluck..
gluck to diana n michael too.
good luck to me..

came back, the room was in total mess..
thought i'll give it a good clean up.. biasala.. before start studying, me n this obsession for mengemas when time is better spent on something else..

initially was thinking of going to the city
but since shah sms saying that we should meet in the evening in the city..err.. maybe not then..
after all.... the cleaning up. : )

ok..last nite..
was no ordinary nite.. at least i made it non ordinary
firstly, met yea online.. she found me..somehow.. but it was really cool..
telling me to come back fast.. can tell she's damn bored ..
how can u ever get bored in malaysia.. now that i'm in this laid back brisbane..
well.. maybe bored to her means not being able to see her bf during her 3 mths holidays... well.. that's ouchh..
at least, i know for sure.. there's someone to lepak with when i'm back..
now that sounds pathetic..

secondly
was browsing around other blogs yesterday and came across this guy.. i dunno.. nothing fascinate me in particular.. but his blog sounds honest though..
so thought wat the heck, added him on my msn list..
last nite.. he was online.. and we talked a bit..
nazrul mistunderstood some of my remarks, i guess..
come on man.. i was kidding.. who am i to judge anyway..havent met u in the first place..
well, at least now he wont forget me.. ehehe, that's for sure..
err.. bad move ying.... bad bad move..
i'm mean..
anyway, nazrul, sorry mate!seriously didnt mean it..
PEACE!

oh..hetz called..
she's going to the city to eat kebab!..
darn!!! was thinking about kebab just now..
room is still messy..
non n along has just left for friday prayers..
kevin not home, no sound from upstairs.. bryan class..
christine class.. sonya.. err .. doesnt make any difference..
i dont understand her, she doesnt understand me..
aaaa... i hate to stay in when everyone esle is not home..
not on a friday afternoon.. when i've just handed in my last assignment and finished all my classes..
err... room is still messy..
hetz might need company..
room is still messy..
bank account is still empty..
err...
true libran aint i?

off to the city!
ta!

dear ying,

tennis cancelled..darn!
now feeling guilty over my heavy lunch..
should i go for a jog? aahh..too worn out la these days..
i'll just have it nice n easy this evening..
been surfing other journals..
came across this one cool one.. with hazleena's picture on it..
sheesh...small world afterall..
added the guy in my msn..and voila!..chatting with him now..
guess i can map things out and reconnect with haz when i go back..
learnt that this guy is from SMAP Labu.. so kenal June n Asyrul too.. wat a small world..

tonight VM Award is on at 7.30..
a must watch for me..
along with my finance notes (yeah right).. a good retreat from everything..

oh..arrangement with shah is cancelled.. and i'm talking about the brunch arrangement.
maybe tomorrow..
but since i've discussion in the afternoon, maybe later towards the evening.. which is better since i can at least show them the lively southbank.. and queen st will be open till late.. or else.. mati kutu aku.. asked shaz n hetz to tag along.. but of course.. am ok to face it alone.. ehhehe.. macam apa je..

called win last nite..
was a bit err.. pissed off is too strong a word here....
maybe was a bit annoyed when he barely speaks when he speaks.. (??!!)
ahh.. normal of him anyway.. dasar melayu malas.. (look who's talking..)

slept at 2 last night to wake up at 8 to finish my tute n go meet shah..
since shah cancelled.. i hit the bed again, feeling fresh and 'mcmdunianiakuygpunya' (having showered, deoderized n perfumed earlier)
screw the tutes.. thought will wake up again at 10 to do it..
woke up only at 10.30 by Khuzai's phonecall.. he came to see the house with Cher..
they like it..
good for them..
breakfast... been ages man!!.. then did my tutes..
went to class..
settle down..
feeling good.. and ready for the last lecture..
when i suddenly realised ..
left my whole tute book at home.. d'ohh!!

grr.. ah.. cutcutcutchopchopchop.. went to tute, finish early..came back..
n cook lunch..
the best mashed potato ever.. by me.. ehehehe..

alah.. minutes tak buat lagi..
Khuzai's picking it up later.. sheesh..

ok
got to run now..

have fun Ying

dear ying

it's been ages since i feel this happy..
this proud to be nik norezreen nik adnan feeling
finally manage to crack that stupid programming thingy.. which apparently wasnt all that complicated in the first place.. but i guess i still owe myself some credit.. at least for being patience (yeah right.. i totally lost my mind and had fever over this) and to come out of this in a sane mode.
congrats me.. congrats hetz.. thx for ensuring me that 'this too shall pass'
i guess it has.. at least after friday it definitely will

going to bed early
hasnt started anything on the tute yet.. but oh well.. tomorrow an early day..

going to call mama n jazmi later..
they ought to know this..
i did it!!!

meeting shah tomorrow..
he called just now
he's probably on the plane now.. yeah, should be..
dunno wat to wear.. dunno where to bring him..
ah..
anywhere is fine i guess..
anything is cool..

anything is cool after this assignment

oh my God..
thx lord for this..

tomorrow i'm going to play tennis and whack it like no one has..
gilaa..

better go now..
before i get too excited and started mumbling things i'm not suppose to..

OH YING..YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!!

gnite

dear ying

been a while huh?

my sleeping pattern is killing me..
and the assignment workload is not helping either
didnt manage to shed that kilo off last week
been a while since last jog..
more than a week since i last call home
a week since i last call any of my frens..
bank accountsss read ..err.. very2 close to ZERO

so what have i been up to?
i really dunnolah..
i guess somewhere between the spectrum of writing a program to price an option (yes..sounds very sophisticated for a normal being like me, that's y i'm still stuck on it) and discussion about post natal syndrome and horoscope compatibality.
more like.. i dunno wat i've been wasting my last 96 hours on..

i guess the only achievement worth mentioning this week is - haircut
yes, got a haircut last friday without much contemplation, which is very unusual..
and maybe, that thai dinner last sunday nite.. my since dunnowhen cravings.. nasib baik dapat

wat else did i do..
bought my Ramadhan halal meat.. kilos n kilos..
went for tennis with the kakaks.. which is another cool thing for the week.. (the only .. maybe)
'collected' another batch of online frens.. to accompany me through my assignment works..(sounds rude.. but ying gotta do what ying gotta do n always do)
watched Joan of Arc.. full... partially alone.. wooooohooooo....congrats ying... u have reached the next level of tv concentration.. at a perfect time.. (2 weeks from my finals exam)
speaking of exam.. yes, in 2 weeks time..
nope, hasnt started anything yet.. not even the revision schedule (macam ikut pun.. it's just a psychology thing for me)
went to see tutors just now.. (dunno y)
they are quite flexible next week.. bless me!

hmm..
wat else..

shah'll be arriving on Thursday
dont really give a shit anymore..
he's on holiday.. and me struggling through my revision week..
have to meet him anyhow..
mama sent some stuff thru him.. $ for next month.. aarrghh.. i hate being financially weak..sick like this..

really2 miss home
cant wait to go back to my room, with that 16th floor area view of Subang n Sunway..n Puchong..
my family.. adik2.. (dreamt about them again last nite) ..Arman and the gang..

but even the thought of going back worries me..
am i going to pile back those kilos i've shed? by choice mmgla tak..
nak gi jogging with who? thinking of Jazmi.. shrugging off the thought..
cari kerja.. new ppl.. new environment.. all to be faced alone.. no novan, no hetz..
shah.. i think the worst is already over.. i think

everythingla worry me these days..
sometimes i forgot i've submitted some of my assignments ..and that i should worry about them no more..
i'm worried i dont drink enuff water..
worried that those time spent sleeping should really be use to do somehting else.. (and i only sleep after 5am)
think i'm losing it la.. 2 weeks away from my final exam final semester.. good on ya ying!

currently listening to ABBA "Take a Chance on Me"
feels like a 3 yr old again.. i wish i could go back to those days
when dancing topless to my favourite ABBA numbers are considered cute
and papa's books n calculator is something that i should never ever touch

cool song by the way...

guess good point to kick off - assignments!

take a chance take a chance take a chance..
but u know i've got ..so much that i wanna do..
lalalalal..take a chance.. take a chance..

dear ying

just finished berbuka
ate some yucky pasta..i made myself.. been gulping down gallons of orange juice.. muak!
the day went fairly ok..
had a good nite sleep.. must be the 2 ponstant (spelling?) pills i took.. (yeah, went to bed with a heavy head)
woke up sneezing non stop, but feeling re-energized...
it has been a while since my last attack of the seriel sneeze..
today i must have sneezed a million time.. i think i managed to irritate my classmates in the tutorial just now..
thought of leaving, but then again.. i dont think i am as annoying as the noisy indian girl, who always have something to say about everything in the class..
if she's allowed to stay, i dont see why i should leave

anyway, finance class finished an hour earlier..
not knowing wat to do while waiting for the next class, i decided to waste my time in the bookstore
time wasting it wasnt..
came across this book.. Alone By Myself by Melanie Woss..
it was described as ' a moving diary of a teenager who lost the battle with depression..'
the couch was occupied by this (selfish) chinese guy who were lying there like nobody's business.. sheesh.. i gave him a stare.. he noticed but didnt make a hint of effort to move his stupid butt off the couch.. no wonder the locals hate us asians so much.. with such attitude.. who wouldnt.. err.. generalisation perhaps..
oh well.. found a chair at the wooden table in the corner of the store..
settle myself there and start digesting Mel Woss writing..
they were simple, honest.. disturbingly honest..
where the hell did she keep her writings before her suicide?
u can really tell it's gonna happen by the way she described it.. 'leap into the world of oblivion when my head smashed to trillions...'
i was so absorbed in the book.. imagining everything she described.. the boyfriend .. her fren's little mouse, her mom, her psyhciatrist..
an hour passed by.. aaahhh..late for class..
as i race to class, i thought of the concept of suicide
cross my mind once..
ok..LIE.. did cross my mind a few times..
dont ask me why.. was foolish then i think.. was.. i hope..

oh yeah,
dreamt of jazmi last nite..
it was soooooooo real
he came to visit me here..
shit.. it was so so real..
his smell, the feel of his skin..
that rugby shirt, my favourite rugby shirt..
dockers pants as usual.. that huge pair of shoes..ehehe
that thick glasses.. the smile..
i was frozen when i first saw him.. was half between smiling and crying..
he was being his usual mr soooo nice..
i cried.. in the dream.. was asking him to go away and not be irritatingly nice to me anymore..
for the first time he scolded me.. a real one.. it felt real at least.. asked me to just keep quite and smile
all i could do is just cry.. at that time somehow i realised it was just a dream.. but i kept crying, refuse to open my eyes.. i can feel the warmth of my pillows by then, realising it was all a dream, but he was still standing in front of me, it was soo real..he gave me a warm friendly hug... i can feel his heartbeat but at the same time i can hear the birds chirping outside my room
and in the dream i cried.. and i cried...
just a second later i woke up with swollen drenched eyes.. at least, if not for anything else.. the tears were real..
now i realised he never left me..

aaahh...
to many things going on in my head now..
inhale exhale, wake up
excell assignment to do

dear ying

finished my tute earlier than expected, managed to revise the chapter too..
got my excell that i havent touch.. but just dont feel like it
probably head 4 the bed early..isyak pun dah..
the temp is getting cooler.. opened the door just now..
lantakla if the whole wide world can see wat i'm doing in my room.. as long as i can breath... hell with that bit of privacy

so win read about how i celebrated bday without him wishing..
it's ok.. forgiven..
dont think i'm angry.. i know wat he's like anyway..
maybe just a little bit terasa.. ok i lied.. i do feel insignificant..
i am affected..
whenever ppl asked.. 'so how was ur bday?' all i wanted to say is.. 'win forgot'
maybe all these bday stuff are not of any importance to him..
even if it's his goodfren's ( i'm not sure about using the word 'bestfren' now.. thought i was just overusing it)
maybe he just really3 forgot..

susah sgt ke? tak... dah lupa nak buat camana...
now i know he feels guilty
and i am even more guilty to know he is feeling guilty about it..
arrgh..i hate this.. it's all coming back to me..

i'm imagining, how would hetz feel if lish forgot her bday,
shaz if ramona forgot hers..
bad if jo forgot his,
ben n dan (err..not quite sure about this one.. considering both are.. hmm..cute)

i'm just sad win forgot mine.

hoping tomorrow will be a better day.. much cooler inside out..
: )


Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong

dear ying

woke up at 1pm with running nose..
the weather is hitting me bad.. sneeze sneeze sneeze..it's 35 degrees today.. and summer is yet to come.. i dont even wanna imagine
my room feels so stuffy, (wasnt as bad as my ol room in warrent street though.. ) the kitchen is one big oven..
the lounge.. forget it...
along's cooking outside.. non keluar masuk bilik..
i guess it's the heat.. no one can sit still..
heard kevin's occasional sigh (more like shouts actually).. bet he's topless again...hehe
even the cold water feels warm..

nak balik msia... nak balik.. waaa...

two more sheets to excell assignment completion..
will continue tonight..
at the moment there's accounting tute to tackle..
missed one whole stretch of class to day by the way.. but it was intentional.. not worth mentioning i guess..

probably map out my study plan for the finals..
err.. just realised.. it's not that far away..
last semester i started 2 weeks before study break itself.. though my results doesnt justify..
guess there's no correlation between when u start revising and the outcome ... yeah right!!!

laundry to jemur

adios

dear ying

it must be hard to believe that i'm really busy with assignments and academic work when i'm updating this blog almost every 10 seconds??
oh well...
it's just an escape from my work..once in a while.. my retreat..
this helps me to freshen up actually..

anuarfariz is still online ..
very good company to keep me sane through this sucky assignment..thx mate!
i guess we're in the same boat.. screw all these assignmentsla..
better go get some sleep now..
or else i'll be filling up tomorrow's blog with how tired i am..
not that anyone's reading.. but soon even i will get tired of me whining about my tiredness..

would u want me when i'm not myself
waiting out when i am someone else
-john mayer-

nite baby girl..kahkahkah

dear ying

though the day started badly.. the evening was better..
went to dinner with doc, badri, firdaus, hetz, shaz, along n non..
was sooo nice of doc to spare some time.. (& $$) for the dinner..
and of course the rest too.. understand that along actually skip his class to get down on his assignment..
so wasnt expecting that he would turn up.. really
but he ends in front of me at the dinner afterall.. (and oh.. thx for the card too.. the card make me feel like 'budak kecik'la pulak.. which is good... no rush.. ehehe )
the rest has tons to do as well..
was flattered..
was not expecting a get together of such considering the bad timing this year..
doc sent me back home..
but i suspected it's not the end.. noticed hetz n shaz whispering.. ahaha..caught again, this yr..
and yeah, i was right..
they came with a cake and all..
was thinking quietly just now.. it's been 5 yrs..
celebrating bday with shaz n hetz..
oh my..

khuzai called,
faiz sms. jazmi sms too.. (he was so frustrated to be the.. 8th, 9th.. ?? person to wish..forgot abt the time difference i guess)
lynnette called too.. she never miss my bday (note that ying..note that ..)

online with cho just now..
he's one cheeky boylah.. no wonder he has so many admirers.. kakak angkat and the likes..
he was asking me to pray for him.. pray that he will also pray (??!) he's missing the concept here i think..ehehe
'cho ni banyak bergelumang dalam ombak dosa..'
i laughed frantically..
i love these jokers..
i miss them all

it's nisfu syaaban actually..
was, really..
my bday on nisfu syaaban.. wow..

3 Yasins - to all my sins, an easy n wealthy life ahead, and my parents
sunat hajat for a good lifetime partner
amin
feels much more energized and calm..

shall continue with my excell assignment now..

God bless!

dear ying

not a good morning..
woke up heavy eyed and my body's aching everywhere..
weird..

went to class just now.. tired like hell..
was crawling with my work..definitely cannot submit in the class.. i gues will just have to email the tutor..ah..nevermind...still another tutorial class to go before submission..
better concentrate on my excel assignment now..
havent really started, am exhausted already..
i need a break..
maybe i'll have it today..
going to sleep earlyla i think.. and no more afternoon naps.. it kills me instantly.. still feel the effect from yesterday

called mama just now to include more stuff to pesan through shah..
vcd.. hair colour.. more $$$$
so their flight is confirmed... went through the intenarary.. seems very packed..
they'll be going back to kb on thursday for kak suzi's wedding..
err... after kak suzi.. it's definitely my turn... darn!!
but what i'm more concern now is.. nasi kerabu.. how i miss nasi kerabu.. and budu with ikan singgang..
if anyone ask for a bday wish now.. that'll be it..
hell with bf or a digicam..
nasi kerabu..
and an assistant to finish my assignment.. and .. ehehehe.. can never keep it simple eh?

miss home.. reallyreally miss home..
talked to bibik just now, before reaching mama, she's very excited hearing that it's me
'bila mau ketemu?'...
'kurang 2 bulan lagi bik..'
'asyik2 tengok gambar, belum ketemu tuannya..'
'tuannya dah nak balik, tak lama lagi.. nanti bulan 12 jumpa ya'
'iya....ketemu...'
soon bibik... soon..
ah...the comfort of being at home.. being able to cook n have someone do the dishes..
imagine lepak2 with the new bibik.. surely there'll be interesting stories from her..
they always have interesting stories..
whoaa...i am actually looking fwd to lepak with my new bibik... ehehe.. am really homesick i guess..

feels like going for a jog.. but that'll torture myself..
shaz says doc's arranging dinner outside tonight..
even overheard non asking along..
heard but buat dunno je.. ehehe..

so excel assignment..
here we go..

-tired at the age of 22..(?)

dear ying

papa n mama were the first to wish me..
so no, irwan didnt call.. was melancholy already just now..all it takes is his call..
hetz, along n non wished online.. cute sms from along.. and of course, from dear bro danial.. and that boroi scantrzb.. gemokkk!!!
and my new friend anuarfariz.. another greetings from malaysia.. ehehe
oh yeah, received lish, cammy n wee yen's card this afternoon too.. flowerflowery some mores

so how do i feel?
tired.. and weird..
itching to call someone.. that someone
guessed he forgot.. *sigh.. : (

tired, tired...
this access assignment is eating me up.. excell belum sentuh yet
havent pray isyak ..
better go now before 'terkorban'..

Thank you Lord for another year of good health and wealth..
turning 22 this morning i pray for 3 things..
please grant me my scroll in 2 months' time..
please send me back home to my family, safely
please send me him now.. ahahaha.. demanding?? never from the Almighty.. u'll never know..

good nite old baby..

dear ying

happy 22nd anniversary
smile...

....love u loads....

...

dear ying,

so anuarfaiz does exist
and he linked my blog to his.
am still figuring out why the 'feedback' doesnt work..
having terrible headache at the moment..too much sleep during the day i guess.. never ever again, feels like shit now..
yeah, i cheated fast.. slept through most of it.. woke up just nice to break fast.. tu pun sbb shaz came.. or else i might have break fast after isya'..

win mailed,
missumissumissumissu, i guess that's all he can afford to say.. considerng that he has forgotten my bday..
well.. let's give him the benefit of the doubt.. maybe he'll mail again tomorrow... saje je kot buat dunno today..
alah.. it's just a bday wish anyway.. too old to feel bitter over such thing.. (alert: consoling, consoling)
win.. win.. wat can i say..

...

hi ying!

kakak burst just now..

'apehal dengan hetz tu baby..?? mende dia tak puas hati dengan i?? i dah tak larat dah..pesal semua org...blablabla..'

feels like i'm back in kys..or something.. basically feels like back in my early teen years..(been a while)
i wanted to laugh just now.. seriously..
this is not the way an adult should handle stuff..
i listened to her, maintaining occasional eye contact, nodded once in a while..
i pity her actually..
she's clueless..
offered her a sit.. and was prepared to switch to my aunt agony mode..
but she has something on at Uni..
only managed to bombard a few more remarks about along n non (???) involvement in this matter..in the hallway, maybe with the intention for them to hear
i quickly object to it.. automatically appoint myself as their spokeperson.. i really think they dont give a damn about this whole stuff anyway..
guys dont normally give a damn about stuff much.. yeah, they do bitch.. but it stops there.. untill next btiching sessionsla
hate to say this.. it's something i admire.. which explains why i'm in this house now.. (so it is about having guys housemates, isnt it?? kantoi!)
but being a libran, well, let's just put it this way, so ladies are more consistent. high stamina and endurance level..good follow through..ehehe..the works..

flashes of miss lai, sab, merissa, kamariah, nat, nell, lynn, kepah played in my mind..
good ol days..