both bosses are on leave today. the mgmt report has been sent for printing.. some of the small outstanding stuff are in progress now..
i feel relieved..

that's not the reason why i can finally update anyway. too many regular things have been going on..
regular things : talks about kawin (marriage), diet plans, which place to eat next, catch up with a couple of frens
too many yet not cumulatively worth mentioning here.. now, since when has this place become an venue for only worthy stuff..

irregular happenings:

mama and papa is away.. in Perth, konon2 sending and helping golden boy, Yeh to settle down.. but dont u think 10 days is a bit too much to send off a kid to uni.. especially one who has undergone 5 years of hell-living (though they always claim they never wanna leave) in malay collegue. the worst thing is they left zetty with me.. and this time no cash at all since i'm working... sheesshh..
now, not only i've got to drive the Serena to work... bayar the minyak.. which cost like ?*!~&! .. take care of their meals.. and not go out at night because i have to monitor little sister homework progress (and sharpen her pencils).. maintain the food supply at home.. meet social obligation like visits to auntie's place.. so on so forth
tulah, nak kawin beriya.. suruh jaga rumah sikit.. dah susah..
i knew it.. they played a trick on me.. now i'm thinking twice.. ehehe..

jazmi told his parents about me... and i'm ecstatic..
he's not the telling kind, never introduced any of his girlfrens (maybe because they're just girl-FRENS) to his parents before..never talk out his future plans with his mom before.. never innitiated a talk of such unless induced by his sister or other ppl... but this time he went 'mom-I-meet-someone-special' without someone pushing his back..
ok, ok, i admit.. i did propose the idea to him.. i was beginning to feel uncomfy about the fact that every significant person in my life has met him.. and it's not vice versa. he was giving excuses (oklah, reasons) why that hasnt happen.. of which, i could only sum up as communication barrier.. his family is not like mine.. they dont normally have casual talks.. so it's even harder to start an important topic casually...
ok, reasons accepted.. they'll find out sooner or later.. i rest my case.. of course after being reassured that his parent will be OKEY with everything
a couple of days later, casually, "oh yeah, dear, i told my mom.. : )"
sometimes, all u need to do to get something is just ask for it..
actually it doesnt feel THAT great anyway, just relieved.. comfy.. it feels good to be recognised in such a way.. to be announed 'exist' by him..
next months, i have two invites to his frens' weddings.. i dunno about others, but i think this is a big thing.. we co-exist in his frens' eyes..
God, listening to myself.. how much of his space do i wanna occupy..
i hope it's not too much on him.. blame him for being so welcoming.. ehehe.. (i'd like to believe so)

i know this does not belong in the extra-ordinary affair section, but i'm starting a diet programme (AGAIN) ..
so, dear ying.blogspot.com, my soulmate, my buddy..
may i announce, i'm going to go on a diet plan (with no specific formulae) and do watever i can to flush down a few kilos off..
at this point, let me just say.. 2kg off by end of May.

no, i've not been membelek myself in the mirror.. and it's not the frustration of not being able to get into my bestest pants (that was long time ago..i've been settling for 'comfy' ones for so many months already)
it's simple
i wanna get married
if for 23 urs of living i dont care/mind looking (and being) this heavy.. maybe this time i should..
because i do wanna look pretty on my wedding day.. screw all the 'beauty is skin deep' bulls..i know i'm gorgeous inside (you may consider leaving now).. but i need to know (and show.. at least to my hubby) that i'm beautiful in 3D form too.. ehehe... wat a way to put it..

so, dont accused me of being too involved with myself, health freak, vain or the likes in my next entries (dont worry, chances are i wont mention a thing pun.. but, just in case)

i must, i must, i must reduce my mass
and i shall start now.

ta!

it's almost 6 and i should really be going because nothing can be done to complete my task now.. an hour extra effort would only mount to a mere development for this piece of work..
i am tired..
today i did lots of talking on the phone.. one of the phonecalls lasted for more than an hour in fact
i'm getting used to this already.. talking long hours with ppl u havent even met to discuss the most important matter in life for that second.. ehehe.. now that sounds a bit too much..
today the ladyboss didnt mess up with me.. simply because we didnt have any sort of communication.. not even eye contact.
he just put the completed assignment on my table and walk away. i dont understant how ppl can live like her.. she doesnt have a social life.. i mean, she doesnt have a life.. well.. judging from the frequency of her smile.. which is more often than not nil. zero.

anyway, in the midst of my work.. i did a bit of socialising.. with the net.. found a handful of interesting blogs.. which i'll link maybe later.. i'm an lazy idiot when it comes to blogging.. i write wat i want, quote wat i wish.. no reference watsoever.. tired of having support documents to prove everything i say.. sadly, that's how the world works
i was browsing hani's page (has yet to link even this one, despites several mention of her blog) and found a stir caused by a person (i'll link him too..later) who assumed her as a teen..
she's 22 by the way.. (that does not spell teen, at least literally)

i went on to read this person's journal.. and my oh my..
i found myself terribly disagreeing with wateva he was imposing in his article..
who is he to generalise??

it made me think about the whole purpose of me blogging..
for me, it's simple..
i like to talk.. but i rarely find good time/reason (not opportunity) to talk about my feelings.. or all the simplestupid stuff that tends to cross my daily life path..
i just feel that these things are not worth any telling.. not worth any person's time to listen.. so i'll just dump it in here..
though they are really insignificant.. cumulatively.. they mould me into wat/who i am now..
maybe i havent met my true soulmate yet in a human form(yes, i'm thinking of win now.. but somehow..i'll put him on KIV)

so, all these blogging rules about 'entertaining readers', or even making an impression to the world outside.. is simply stupid for me.. attention seeking? maybe.. so wat with a bit of extra attention.. it's not causing anyone anything.. u like it u stay (and comment) u dont.. just leave and comment about how terrible it is in your blog. dont bother emailing telling me how my blog should be.. (not that i've received any, but receiving one should be VERY annoying)

may i say, i'm even not ashame/guilty to claim that my blog serves as no platform of communication.. i mean it's not a place to exchange opinions or anything..it's me writing about men my life.. dont get me wrong though, u're wlecome to comment..i like them.. ehehe..

i write wat i feel..
and being a super indecisive person, i may change my perspective anytime i want, be it prepbescent or not.. ehehe

no i know i'm not making sense..
maybe i should head back home

ta!

it's the time of the month again.. and it was a wrong, wrong move to brave myself to the ladyboss room just now just to ask her few confirmations.. she fired back at me, bombarded me with questions, twisted things around... and now i'm left with the same issue.. back to square one..
it was actually silly of me to not pep-talk myself first before meeting ms ladyboss.. knowing the fragile state i'm in now..

i dont like it here...
please get me out... if this is my first taste of work stress, can i go taste somewhere else now..
dont they get it.. one with an accounting degree does not necessarily know everything under the title 'accounting'...
i so very hate accounting..

farez, mama and papa will be leaving for perth this friday.. i think i'll take friday off.. but my leave application halted in my hand after being bombarded by her just now..
alah, rilekslah.. petang sikit.. with the rest of the stuff that she wants..
maybe this time i should let her sign the stupid form first before starting my battle with her again

why should u think of this as a battle ying?
come on.. get a grip on yourself..
i cant, it's pms

i went out with hetz, lynn n jazmi the whole day yesterday, went to midvalley to that postgrad/career fair thingy, which was a dissapointment..customer service in malaysia sucks..
in fact sales n marketing too..

we had lunch, tea n dinner together..
it's getting weird how jazmi can stand a whole day of me and my girlfrens.. and we're no angels..
i feel privileged to be able to spend time with my girlfrens and have him by my side at the same time.. and he just know when corner away from us.. immersing himself in the newspaper.. going for cigarette break..
i feel privileged yet nervous as well.. nervous that our girls outing will ultimately pissed him off though he enjoyed the 3 plates of nasik minyak at lynn's place thoroughly.. : )

i'm glad

i knew this would happen.. everything settled in its place.. perfect.. then ms ladyboss have to screw up my day..
yeah, i'm not over it yet.. childish me..
typical enough, i'll blame it on pms this time.

thanks for those well wishes people..

i am well now
as usual i didnt keep to 'finish your antibiotic' thingy.. but yeah, i managed..

we had a barbecue last nite.. for farez as he'll be leaving for Downunder this coming friday.. and of course, papa's 48th bday
the bday celebration was meant to be a surprise.. and it did surprised him..
as usual, lots of food, lots of relatives and farez's buddies.. all the 'koleq kids'.. ehehe.. saje..menyampah
and as usual, i was drenched in sweat at the bbq pits.. cos aparently, having 3 brothers does not really give me extra hand when it comes to these dirty jobs.. damn!
wat's unusual was.. jazmi was there too..
he came to bbq, eat, clean up (not really), lepak watch football.. and was the last to leave..
i know.. it has come to that stage..
so basically all my kl based relatives has seen him.. and yeah, i guess it's a confirmed approval..

speaking of which.. papa asked me to get married... no.. actually it was like.. 'get married noreen!'
he's afraid that i'll grow too big to get married (ie to have someone who actually wanna marry me)
he said make it next year and dont worry about the cost n all.. and of course the two of u will be staying with me since both hasnt finish study and all (he do want me to do my pro course afterall).. and then i'm going to pester your husband to make u slim down..
the way i look at it.. if this were to happen.. both of us will EXPAND..
happy, senang.. wat else..
so it's just waiting till our new bungalow completed..

i'm talking about this as if it does not make any difference to me..
honestly, i'm happy.. but i'm just numb..
it's something of massive quatity for me to churn..
papa actually allow me to marry jazmi at his expense and want us to live with them at least till i get my pro.. he finish his course.. simply due to the fact that he's too scared that i'll be dumped by him (and hence, left idle) if i grow any bigger..
this doesnt make sense does it..but mama was there when this conversation took place.. and i did asked him.. 3 times i think.. pa? serious? .. ha.. serious..
let it absorps first..
at the moment.. it's like a dream..

in fact wat happen last nite was far beyond expectation anyway..

i'm not dreaming am i..

i cant really say how i feel about this.. suffocated.. overjoyed..happy..nervous.. silly..

i'm not dreaming am i..
if i'm not.. ceteris paribus.. i'll be getting married next yr people..
thats.. a few-teen months away..sheeshh..
it's my dream all these while.. and it still feels like a dream even though it's materializing now.. ehehe.. is it?

ah..
going to midvalley with the usual crowd.. duit dah habis.. blanja bday papa.. i just wanna go out.. jazmi'll pay.. ahaha
bye

now, i'm sick
been sleeping the day through..
as i wished, got my mc.. and a little higher temparature.. (this is for the mc..eheh)

been doing nothing much,
cancelled dinner date with win last nite .. been the third time already, i guess it's a sign.. ahaha.. sign of wat.. God knows

i've never been a 'manja' person when i'm sick.. but now i am..
i guess couplehood has revealed all my dark side.. ehehe.. i miss him.. i so very miss him.. ehehe
not only he's out at work.. he hasnt taken his lunch, and it's late evening now.. means he's been neglecting his medicine.. plus he hasnt returned my sms.. (ok he sms from his fren's hp because his battery went dead)..and he has the chic to ask me if i have taken my medicine.. hah!
listen to me.. yukk! i'm getting typical!
i better stop
wish me well

p/s: to all concern.. it's not SARS

jazmi is sick again
but this time it's really worrying since it has been a week.. and with all these SARS thingy..lagila..
yesterday, i was out with him, yes despite his health condition..
the thing is, the fever keeps alternating between really2 bad and none in a matter of minutes..
we were actually in university hospital to visit his bro-in-law who met with an accident yesterday morning.. his thigh bone broke into 3!!... yes, such thing can happen..
i hope the guy's doing ok by today, he's very lively yesterday.. i assume things are fine
on another note.. jazmi's sis is fine .. and she's tall too, she doesnt look very much like her brother.. but there are similarities.. the major difference was.. she's sooo fair.. fair relatively compared to jazmi, actually fairer than most of my female malay frens..
she even told (convinced) me that he's the only odd one out.. *sigh... that's a relief, at least he's used to it when it comes to being a minority in my family later.. ehehe..

work is like crazy nowadays
crazy considering this is suppose to be just an exposure period for me.. and since i'm the lowest (or second lowest) level of exec here..
i've been going back way beyond the legal working hours (in my dictionary) and been bringing work back too..
even zetty commented on my lifestyle nowadays
wateva it is, i dont care.. i'm either taking mc tomorrow or just a leave end of this week.

win's coming back
to pay my phone bills and buy me dinner(s)
hehe..

i'm just too tired for monday
but i had fun on saturday.. really, The Recruit, 2 regular pizzas, 4 mushroom soup and some breadstick to share between me, hetz n lynn..
and many2 gossips..

looking fwd to next saturday
hah!

i havent been in my best mood lately
and i dont know why.. ask dear boyfriend and he would probably give u the details..
i'm just not normal these days.. maybe, as usual... too much thinking..

i feel i have changed a lot since i came back from australia..
the funny thing is, i dont think i've changed much when i was there..
maybe having finally engaged in a 'serious' relationship and working did some turn around for me
i dont feel i'm as happy-go-lucky as i used to be
i think i spent more time alone.. (well..i'm still adjusting myself to my old housemates-my family)
i'm very kedekut with money these days.. my definition of entertainment is just sooo boring (stay at home.. read newspapers..go out with boyfren.. sleep)
i dont find fun in cooking, drawing, television, chatting and homemaking anymore
call those activities lame.. but they use to cheer me up.. make me look forward to weekends like crazy! now.. i look forward to weekend just because i wanna stay in, eat a lot with frens, and talk (on the phone) to my bf during the day, not just nite..
it scares me the other day when i feel i prefer not to see him as often..
it scares me even more when i dont even feel like attending to any calls, or important conversation.. all i wanna do is lay on my bed with zetty and hear her stories..
i'm becoming old
i'm old

i hope this is temporary insanity, cos i cant blame it on PMS this time..unless it's fortnightly now..

but to think of it.. so wat if i'm not like i used to be anymore.. so wat if the above paragraphs conclude my life as total patheticness..eheh .. so wat?
i can do anything with my life.. anything and live however i which to live it.. as long as i dont bother others..

hmm... now, i think i've to wait till 5.30 to be able to do that..
office work is abundance these days.. not only i've responsibilities on my own now.. more and more of my superiors and collegues are finding me 'handy'..

maybe wat i need is a break
maybe

yess!!!!
tak payah pindah!!!
woooohoooo!!!!

this is definitely not the right attitude, miss..
oh well..

i'm supposed to move place today
my colleague has left, so effectively i'll be taking over his works.. and his desk.. right in the middle of the finance department.. which i dont neccessarily look forward to..
ish..

have to call the IT persons to install set up the email and stuff again.. hmm....
malasnya, i'm not in a very sociable mood today... lagila..
i dont mean to be picky.. but those people there.. they're really not my kind.. tak sekepala...well..maybe not yet.. cause i do laugh at their jokes sometimes.. but nothing much that i can relate to..
i guess this is where it all start..
i am finally working in the real world.. like others.. ehehe

saw three accidents on my way to the office just now, along the NKVE.. just about a kilometre away from each other..
the second one was still fresh.. had i been a few seconds faster, i could have witnessed it live.. a bmw vs mercedes.. both severely damaged.. i dont know wat happen to the owners but i can see two very troubled faces along the road... so i reckon, they're 'fine'

the third one.. i assume caused a major (understatement) traffic hold up was a pile up of 6 cars!.. covering the whole width of the 4-lanes highway.. japanese, continental, and our beloved proton cars were all involved.. funny enough, the proton was the last in the row and in the middle lane.. i would assume it could have slowed down before hitting the next car.. but of course, it has to suffer the worst damaged..
just like a crumpled piece of paper.. no offence to proton owners..
but really, scary thought heh?

i need to go and so something i'm paid to do..
the thing is.. i wish i have something to do
i guess i'll be hanging around here a lot today

p/s:to all commentors (sp?), thanks for your support, thoughts and wishes.. really appreciate it! ; )