i can almost always hear the little voice in me talk. i know it happens to all , pls say it does, but i believe mine is a bit too often and sometimes too loud. maybe i have a talkative 'little me' inside. i learnt a bit of psychology in my second yr and this thing is common, though a more severe case have a clinical name attached to it, and i firmly believe that mine never falls under this category. at least i dont feel haunted by it, or motivated just because of it.
this little voice of mine is more often than not redundant. as much as it can be annoying, it often go away in a blink of an eye, if i wish so. cos, let's face it, it's me.
i dunno where i'm heading with this, but today i feel like ranting. cos tomorrow, saturday, and sunday, which is the global weekly holiday, i am expected to be here to complete the damn business plan. so let me steal a bit of time here. cos they're gonna take away my whole weekend, not to mention the only weekend in this mth where jazmi's class is over by sunday noon. oh well.
(though some may find working on sat/sun a routine, i dont. and my body doesnt relax that way. as much as i dont own a happening life, i like it that way. so wat if i always spend time doing nothing during the weekend anyway, at least doing nothing shows some respect to my brain n body motor)
inhale.......exhale
ok, back to the little voice. i was driving to office this morning when i realize that the journey is getting shorter n shorter by day. start the engine, drop zetty at her sekolah agama, then suddenly, the office gate. thanks to the little voice.
the little voice likes to tell me stories. she reminds me of good n bad stuff. i have to admit, sometimes i let out a few 'errkk!' and "ishh!' when 'she' reminded me of embarassing moments. sometimes it never occur to me that it was embarassing, till 'she' point it out, smiling. just now over lunch, i think my social skill was down to negative. i realize i cant communicate when put with a tablefull of newly introduced male colleagues. and i thought, so wat. i'm just a typical shy, low profile girl. but 'she' kept bugging me to ask this, and that, and was making faces at me for being/acting like such a sissy. and yeah, i went emm..err.. a lot. and now, she's still bugging me. she's getting louder n louder by the day i tell u.
no, i'm not crazy. i'm just a proof that ally macbeal is not alone.
maybe she appears cos I say less these days. i think the amount i talk to everybody at the office or at home is in a week is the same amount as wat i used to chitchat with hetz n shaz back then, or shina n yea.. or anybody IN A DAY. the only person to lessen the gap is jazmi cos i talk to him 24/7 and yet, he is one competitive chatter to have, cos both of us can be a keen talker when together. (and i dont suppose that's a jiwang remark non/mal!) but one mere person.. this is not healthy.
so while the real me is on silent mode, in fact very2 silent as referred to as my colleagues (shaz n hetz will be laughing their ass off), the little me inside will do all the talking, like it or not, for only me to hear.
dont get me wrong though, i'm not lonely in my office. almost never.
afterall, a self-lover will never really despise a quiet chat with herself.
i hate to say this, though i mean it, have a GOOD weekend everyone!