work is abundance at the moment
that's y i'm here.. i like the thrill of stealing a bit of time off my office hrs to do something so personal such as airing my life on the www. no lah. it's lunchtime. and i've just read a couple of blogs.
reading others usually tempt me into writing an entry in my own.. though it may not be as profound or as happening as aiz'a entries, or as hilarious as woody's, at least i make some use of my space. useful or not is a whole diff story actually.

tonight i'm going squash-ing with jazmi. missed last week session, so looking fwd to this one. he's getting better at it. i'm just a goner. the other day we played 4 sets, yes four, and he beat me in 3. darn! i can be a sore looser when it comes to competing with my bf. teruk kan. but i'm 4 yrs younger so i'm allowed to be so. 4 yrs, who's counting, and as though it matters.. but since the number is there, i'll say so cos i want it to have impact. i wanna i wanna

ok.. here's a confession. i've gained almost 15 kilos since i came back from brisbane.

meaning, 7.5 mths, 15 kilos.
i gained 2 kilos per mth.

wait, some more maths. back in aussie, i lost a total of 10kg in the span of a year.
around 0.8kg per mth.

something is seriously wrong. and this is not something that i realise yesterday, or over last weekend. i know i've been piling weight as if i'm preparing for eternal hibernation. wat i didnt realise was, my exageration in the last sentence is represented by 15 kilos. and that is deep shit. ok, sensible diet and exercises. i know. will i? I WILL. pills? no way. no way i'm going back to those blue pills which made me produce oily err..er..yeah, that thing, it's oily. or drink that wateva supplement that's suppose to make me loose 7 kilos in 7 days - the 'strawberry thick drink' looks like cum, it has a consistency like cum (although i'm informed that cum do vary in terms of 'thickness', but still), yes, i'm right, even my former hsemates agree to this. pale pinkish cum which doesnt even taste like strawberry. or better, i dont wanna go to that place which forced me to undress in front of them so that they can gaze at the amount of fat surrounding me. and despite the fact that we have to fork out thousands for the treatment, they couldnt afford to buy an extra inch of cloth for the robe that we have to wear to move around the premise. perhaps, they should just abolish the stupid green robe. afterall dozens of ppl there have seen almost every(stretchmark)thing on my body. but i've to praise them for the consistent 'u've-got-a-major-problem-girl' look they shower me. and that little lady who grew serious muscle after my massage session, she who thinks i should get thin and never my hair up into ponytails so that i can get a bf. yes, thx ppl.

enuff already. i'm making me sad.

i'm going home to my dearest, for a game of squash or two.

dear, thx a lot for sticking by, or even popping up and CHOOSING to stay when my BMI does not fall in the normal range.
hetz, thx for the article u gave me. i know it's kinda weird when i go "i'm shy to meet ppl cos i'm fat" but i'm just human. these things happen.